The
basic definition of bullying is when someone keeps doing
or saying things to have power over another person.
Bullying involves crossing into one’s space without
permission. Come on, isn’t bullying just something
that happens to all children and we’re just making
a big fuss over this? The children will get over it,
right? Shouldn¹t we tell Keith to grow up and handle
it? Wrong. It is not ‘boys will be boys’
anymore. Looking at the life long results to victims
of bullying, adults shouldn’t be ignoring it any
longer.
Tips
for parents:
1. Encourage your child to report any bullying incidents
to you. This of course means they feel comfortable coming
to you and you’ll respond in a loving and trusting
manner.
2. Validate your child’s feelings. It is normal
for your child to feel hurt, sad, and angry.
3. Ask your child if and how they have tried to stop
the bullying. Asking questions is a wonderful way to
have your child do the thinking. See how many options
he can come up with.
4. The absolute best way to solve a bullying situation
is to empower your child to solve it himself/herself,
if possible.
Here
are a few more suggestions for parents to consider discussing
with their child:
-
Avoidance is often an excellent strategy.
- Play
in a different place way from those bothering you.
- Stay
near a supervisor on the playground, lunchroom, or
locker room.
- Look
to make new friends.
- Join
social and sport activities outside of school.
- Have
your child take self-defense classes.
- Let
your child know it is okay to express their anger.
There are positive and negative ways to express anger,
we want to teach and model the positive ways.
- Stress
the importance of body language.
- Teach
your child and model using ‘I’ statements.
- Teach
how your child can use humor. ‘Out-crazy’
them.
For
parents:
- Talk
with your child’s teacher. Make sure they are
aware of what is going on with your child.
- Approach
the school with the intent of working together; do
not attack the school‘s staff.
- Volunteer
to help supervise activities at school.
- Do
not ignore your child’s reports. Ignoring them
sends the wrong message.
- Do
not confront the bully or the bullies’ family.
- Teach
self-respect.
- Give
numerous positive comments to your child avoid labeling
or name-calling.
As
the parents, adults, and school staff we need to stand
up for what is right. We must take our head out of the
sand and stand up for the children. Silence only benefit’s
the bully.
About
the Author:
Derek Randel is a parent coach who speaks nationally
on how to remove the yelling from your home and how
to protect your child/student from bullying and school
violence. Derek has been seen on many television shows
and is heard on radio shows around the country. He is
the author of Stopping School Violence and was nominated
for a Disney American Teacher Award. He also is a certified
stepfamily coach through the Step-Family Foundation.
For more information visit www.stoppingschoolviolence.com.
