Gather information: Probably what is at the root of your emotions is a fear of the unknown. You can solve that problem by giving yourself information. Take a childbirth class and learn about different childbirth methods and strategies to cope with labor pains. Watch videos of a normal labor and delivery so you have a better idea what to expect. Take a tour of the hospital or birthing center – especially the labor and delivery rooms – so you’ll know exactly where you will be going. And don’t forget to use your prenatal visits as an opportunity to ask questions and talk with your doctor about your fears.
Make a plan: Some women feel more comfortable if they create a “birth plan” prior to delivery. Of course you can’t predict exactly how a birth will unfold, but a birth plan can give you some guideposts to help you and your doctor decide if and when to use pain medications, and what other sorts of interventions or positions would make you most relaxed and comfortable.
Create your “dream team”: Decide which people will help you feel the most confident in the delivery room – and which ones won’t. In most cases women choose to give birth with only her partner, her mother or sister, or a doula or trained birthing coach. But if your best friend is the one who knows you the best and helps you feel most relaxed, by all means ask her to be part of the team. And if your mother-in-law is prone to high drama and causes you more tension than relaxation, then make sure she knows ahead of time that she needs to wait outside.
Remember that every delivery is different: If you’re haunted by your mother’s story about how labor dragged on and on, or by your best friend’s story about how she didn’t get to the hospital in time for the epidural…let it go. Every delivery is different, and even your mother’s experience doesn’t necessarily mean that history will repeat itself. There are plenty of other factors, physical and environmental that could make your experience vastly different – and better – from anyone else you know.
Forget about the small stuff: Some moms-to-be get hung up about the fear of embarrassing themselves: screaming or losing control during delivery; having an “accident” on the delivery table, or having medical personnel see them in a vulnerable position. The only solution to this fear is to tell yourself to get over it. Labor and delivery professionals have truly seen it all – many times over – and no matter how loud or messy your delivery might be, they are focused on only one thing, which is to help you deliver a healthy baby.
Last but not least, remember that the births you see on TV shows are generally played up for dramatic effect, including high-risk deliveries, unusual complications, and rare situations. Your doctor and the birthing center staff can assure you that the vast majority of childbirths involve normal labor and routine deliveries. If you can manage your anxieties and channel them into positive thoughts about the birth of your new little one, chances are your labor and delivery will be smooth and rewarding.
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