Here are a few suggestions for fostering thankfulness
in your kids even after Thanksgiving is over:
1.Teach Gratitude by Setting an Example.
This point might seem obvious, but how often do we
complain about little things during the day? If we realize
that the things that make life hard on us (like mounds
of laundry) are frequently the fallout from our blessings
(having loved ones to care for), it’s easier to
feel grateful and to share it with our kids. We can
transform our grumbles into thanks by saying things
like, “Yes, we do need to clean up the house,
but aren’t we lucky to have a house to keep us
safe and warm?” or “I’m disappointed
that we didn’t get to go see grandma today, but
isn’t it great we get to live close to her and
see her often?”
2.Reward Thankfulness.
When they say “Thanks, Mom!” stop what
you’re doing, get eye-level with them, give them
a hug, and tell them how much you appreciate their appreciation.
Something like: “It makes me so happy when you
say thank-you! It makes me want to take you to do more
fun things!” If we consistently delight in their
gratitude, it will reinforce this behavior and they’ll
do it more often.
3.Give them a Reality Check.
We don’t necessarily want to traumatize our kids
by making them watch videos of babies from third worlds
starving to death, but we can challenge their assumptions
about the things they take for granted. Simple comments
can teach our children that they have much more than
than many others. For example, when they’re taking
a warm bath you might discuss with them the fact that
some families don’t even have clean water in their
houses.
4.Help Them Give to Others.
Give them the opportunity to give to others and make
someone else happy and grateful. Help them choose and
support a cause that they feel is important, like donating
a food-producing animal to a family, making blankets
for foster children, or protecting wildlife. Also, tell
them about the things you do to help others. Many parents
give charitably in many ways but don’t tell their
kids about it. Talk about how the small things your
family is doing can make a big difference to someone
else, and how it makes them feel when someone shows
them gratitude. You can also do this on a much smaller
scale, like when they share a toy or comfort another
child. During these moments you can talk about how happy
they made the other child: “Did you see how big
she smiled when you gave her your ball? How did that
make your heart feel when she thanked you?”
5.Create Rituals for Giving Thanks.
Your family may already participate in certain holiday
rituals at Thanksgiving each year, like having everyone
say what they are thankful for. Or some families have
everyone write down what they’re thankful for
on a paper leaf and save them year after year with the
person’s name and year written on it. (If you
get really industrious, you can hole-punch and laminate
them, and string them around the house at Thanksgiving
for everyone to read about thanks from years past.)
These holiday rituals are important, but you can also
create more frequent appreciation rituals through daily
prayer, dinner conversations, and bedtime routines.
By focusing on all that you and your kids have to be
grateful for, you can use everyday moments to make gratitude
and thankfulness a part of your family’s daily
life. Simple comments like “Isn’t it a beautiful
day?” or “Aren’t we lucky to have
each other in our family?” or “Warm jammies
feel so nice on a cold night!” will help foster
in your children an awareness of how much they have
to be thankful for.
And with your new thankful mindset, you can even be
grateful for your child’s creativity the next
time you’re scrubbing the ketchup “finger-painting”
off of the walls. (OK. Maybe that’s too much gratitude
for any of us to expect from ourselves.)
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