Money
is a very big part of a marriage. Having enough to spend,
and to do the things each wants to do, is important to both
parties. When couples are not able to do that, then other
issues pop up in the relationship. When husband and wife are
not on the same page as far as family finances go, other difficulties
inevitably arise.
Effective
communication often emerges as the most difficult obstacle
to establishing goals and expectations, and developing a financial
plan. Many of us have been taught during childhood that discussing
money is somehow inappropriate. Couples must understand that
it is not only appropriate but absolutely necessary to managing
finances in a marriage. Just as finances must be planned in
a business, they must also be planned in a marriage. You must
communicate in spite of any difficulty.
For
example, how do you get your spouse to understand that he
or she will need to curb their spending habits so that you
both can begin putting money away?
There’s
got to be a viable agreement, because most couples discover
that a lack of money, a lack of spending control, or a lack
of fall-back savings eventually causes other problems in a
marriage. Little things grow into much bigger things. However,
as emphasized by Daniel Smith a noted financial expert cited
in The Marriage Medics, future arguments over finances can
be avoided by simply communicating, creating an understanding
of expectations, setting objectives and agreeing on a financial
roadmap.
The
Marriage Medics outlines the following financial plan of attack
for couples of any age:
1.
Stop living beyond your means.
2.
Treat the household like a business.
3.
Create an income-and-expense statement.
4.
Create a balance sheet.
5.
Create a budget.
6.
Figure out how to pay down your debt. Agree on a plan of action
in which you both share equally in cutbacks.
7.
Find ways to cut expenses.
8.
Go on a debt diet starting with the little stuff.
9.
Have only one credit card for your entire family.
10.
Celebrate when you pay off a debt.
There
are many resources for help in creating family budgets and
living within them. For instance, Jim Miller, a Registered
Investment Advisor, author of Retire Dollar Smart, and the
host of a financial advice radio show is an excellent source.
Visit his web site at: http://www.retiredollarsmart.com.
In sum, married couples have an important opportunity to plant
the seeds for a healthy marriage by simply talking with each
other, being realistic about expectations, and making that
financial plan. Money matters!
About
the Author:
Cynthia Cooper,
Ph.D., is a clinical psychotherapist and co-author of
The Marriage Medics which you can obtain via http://www.themarriagemedics.org.
Copyright
2005 Cynthia Cooper
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