It
can be all too easy to get caught up in trying to control
what is happening in the home instead of enjoying what is.
God blessed us with beautiful children and we are most in
touch with that precious love when the house is quiet and
we watch them peacefully sleeping. So how can we connect to
that love and enjoyment in the midst of family life?
Spend
Quality Time with your Children
Spending
quality time with children requires your full and undivided
attention. Oftentimes moms are so busy trying to manage everything
that we have one ear to the children and our mind on a million
other things. Our children talk to us and we say "uh
huh" without really hearing them. We take them to their
games, lessons, etc. but how much do we really interact with
them? To be delighted by your children, you need to be fully
connected to them. You need to listen and marvel at how truly
wonderful they are. Participate in activities they love. Relish
their laughter and their unique personalities. It won't be
long before your children are grown and gone from the house.
Understand
Each Developmental Stage
To
really enjoy your children, you need to understand who they
are and what they are going through. The journey of a child
to adulthood is filled with a multitude of changes. It is
helpful to get inside your child's shoes by learning about
the various stages of development. For instance, the other
day I stripped my 3-1/2 year to get him ready for his bath.
I said, "Come on, it's time for your bath." He looked
at me with the meanest face he could muster and said, "NO!"
It is much easier to deal with the defiance if you know that
a 3 year olds' mission is to exert his independence. Here's
this little guy wanting to grow up and be independent, but
he knows deep down, he is still dependent on mom, and he doesn't
like that. So I picked him up and held him in front of the
mirror. He exercised his most defiant no over and over until
he started laughing. Each stage of life, from infant to young
adult, brings new behaviors and new growth. Educate yourself
so you know what to expect from your child. Sometimes just
understanding that your child is "normal" will help
you relax as a mother.
Don't
Be Afraid to Discipline
No
one likes being around an unruly child. Children with a lack
of discipline make motherhood stressful and less than pleasurable.
Our job as mothers is to raise respectful, productive and
loving adults. In order to do this, we need to teach our children
boundaries. They need to know what acceptable and unacceptable
behavior is. You have to set limits and avoid setting up a
child- centered family. Children need to understand they are
a part of a family and each individual has their own needs.
Help them work together with other family members to create
a peaceful and loving environment. An effective and disciplined
family unit is truly a wonderful adventure.
Be
Intentional about Motherhood
What
would make motherhood more enjoyable for you? Take the time
to reflect on what needs to change in your family to increase
the level of enjoyment for you. Be intentional about those
changes. Maybe you want to make time to take care of yourself
as a mother. Perhaps you long to be a more consistent parent.
This month I am focusing on encouraging independence in my
family. My motto is "everyone will do what they are capable
of doing for themselves." Not only does this teach my
children valuable skills, it frees me from unnecessary responsibility
and gives me more time to be with my family. Setting intentions
help you create a life you love.
Keep
a Positive Reflection Journal
How
do you want to see your children and your family life? Do
you want to see motherhood as challenging or delightful? If
you focus on the undesirable aspects of your family, then
that is the experience you will create. If however, you can
concentrate on the positive qualities of your children and
your journey, you will create a rewarding family life. At
the end of every day, take the time to record in a journal
all the positive things your children said or did that day.
Reflect on all the fun you had that day. Notice the wonderful
qualities of each person in your family. And on your bad days
when you find yourself wondering why on earth you ever decided
to have children, pull out your journal and remind yourself
what a truly amazing journey you are on.
Lori Radun, CEC - certified life coach for moms. To receive
her FREE monthly newsletter and the special report "155
Things Moms Can Do to Raise Great Children", go to http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com