The
survey asked parents to rank 10 factors in order of
which one they worried the most about. The most worrisome,
on a 1-10 scale was job security (3.48), followed
by saving for retirement (3.75) and dying before their
children grow up (4.30). The ability to afford their
children’s educational needs (4.48) rounded
out the top four. The issues parents worry about less
than saving for college include crime (5.05), the
environment (5.20), rising gas prices (6.73), the
amount of time their kids spend watching TV or playing
video games (6.84), the threat of terrorism (7.27),
and lastly, traffic (7.64).
In looking at this list, it was interesting to note
that there are two categories of worry; those they
have little control over and those that are mostly
within their influence. By looking at the worries
in these two categories, it helps to map out a plan
for alleviating them, and finding more restful peace
of mind.
Frightening,
but ‘out there’
Terrorism, crime, environment, gas prices, traffic,
violent video games… while things undoubtedly
affect our lives, and will impact our children’s
futures, they are largely, beyond any family’s
ability to control, and therefore don’t have
the ‘wake you up in a cold sweat’ factor.
That being said, there are things that individuals
and families can and should do to address these causes
of stress.
- Discuss responsible citizenship. Schools encourage
students to discuss issues like terrorism, environmental
concerns, crime. Parents should actively consider
and discuss these items as well, so that a family
has a jointly developed sense of identity and values.
- Find ways to support ideals. If the family is
stressed by high gas prices or traffic, this can
be a call to make a change – whether that
means buying a hybrid vehicle, finding carpool partners
or changing jobs. Even if you don’t take any
actions immediately, considering your options is
good for mental health.
- Practice healthy escapism. A lot of worries come
from the TV set or sitting in traffic. Finding family
time in nature, or at someplace where you can connect
and relax can put the world back in perspective.
It could happen to us
Parents keenly feel the new responsibility a child brings
into their lives, and this drives job, financial and
health insecurity in a new and powerful way. It may
take some time to develop new habits, but once done,
the effects on a parents stress levels can be remarkable.
- Financial planning. Whether it is sitting down
with the monthly bills and checking account, or
visiting a financial planner, taking a level headed
look at expenses, and comparing them with how
they are aligned with your aspirations can help
to keep nagging doubts at bay. This should be
done at least once a year to keep pace with the
changes of a growing family. Part of this exercise
should include a discussion of wills and guardianship
of children. Mortality is of concern to parents,
and discussing it can take away its mental power
over your dreams.
- Stepping up savings. When they look at their
income and spending, most families would agree
that they could and should be directing more money
towards savings. This would help alleviate the
stresses related to job security, retirement and
saving for college.
- Focus on family health. Eating and exercise,
making time for checkups, scheduling ‘mental
health time’ – all these things can
remarkably lower stress, and set a great example
of a healthy lifestyles that kids will adopt as
their own.
Enjoy
your sleep
A
full night’s sleep is one of those things that
you cannot fully appreciate until you have had it
interrupted. To care for a new baby (or even a sick
child) is tiring, but worth the exertion. Losing sleep
over worries is perhaps unavoidable, but steps can
be taken. To figure out why you are losing sleep,
many experts recommend keeping a notebook and pen
by your bed. This will help to find any issues that
are hidden in the new parent haze, as well as helping
you back to sleep once you’ve written the “must
remember to go” item on it, that is assuming
you can read your own handwriting in the morning.
About
the Author:
Anh Vazquez, CEO of LittleGrad.com, earned a Master’s
degree from Stanford University and a Bachelor’s
degree from Carnegie Mellon University. After spending
over ten years working for leading companies such
as Intel, Netscape, and Wal-Mart, Anh’s career
interests shifted when she became the mother of two
children. Anh drew on her experience as a senior executive
at Wal-Mart’s fastest growing division (Walmart.com)
when she decided to start LittleGrad.com, a free service
that helps parents save for their children’s
college education. LittleGrad.com has been featured
in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, San Francisco
Chronicle, and Money magazine. For more information
please visit www.littlegrad.com
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