Even in the same family, one child could pick up potty
training with no trouble at all while their sibling
could resist the potty for what may seem like an eternity.
This was certainly the case for Lynne, a stay at home
mom from Toronto, Canada. For their daughter, she let
her parents know at 23 months that she was ready. Their
son took quite a bit longer. “He was almost 36
months before he was ready. I tried off and on for a
year.”
Sonia, a 26 year old administrative coordinator from
Milton, Ontario started potty training her daughter
at 18 months and the whole process was made relatively
easy as her child was the one who wanted to use the
potty as opposed to having it forced on her. “She
began asking to poo in the potty almost instantly. Peeing
took a little longer but not much. In all it took a
total of about two months for her to be completely diaper
free.
We just kept reminding her that it was time for her
to learn to use the potty, and that she had to tell
us when her 'belly is full of peepee'. If she hadn't
gone in a while we'd sit her on the toilet, even if
she said she didn't have to go, because as soon as she
got there, she'd have to go. In the beginning, when
she had an accident we would just tell her that it was
okay, that she'd made a mistake and that she should
try to remember to tell us when she had to use the potty.
When she began to have more control, she'd sometimes
have accidents because she would become distracted or
would try to hold it in. Then she'd say; 'it's okay
mommy, just an accident'. That's when we had to start
telling her that it wasn't okay for her to have accidents
anymore that she knew how to hold it and go to the potty.”
While some parents find training pants or ‘pull-ups’
helpful, for Sonia, they were more of a detriment and
simply prolonged the potty training process. “I
think that the single most important factor that urged
my child to become potty trained was the fact that we
didn't use training pants. It was summer, so we'd just
put her underwear on as if she were completely potty
trained. When she'd have an accident, it would make
a huge old mess for mom to clean up... but she didn't
like having accidents because she got all wet and it
didn't feel very good. I understand the need for training
pants when children are not at home, but I think that
parents rely on them too much. And they're much too
much like a diaper for children to really know the difference.
I don't think that children should be punished for making
a mistake and wetting themselves, but they should definitely
know that the parent is not happy about it and that
it's important for them to learn to control themselves.
Having this, it's always okay to have an accident attitude
lets the children become lax and not care about learning
control; especially when they're not even feeling the
effects because they're going in their training pants.”
For Cheryl, a 40 year old product engineer from Columbia,
Maryland, ‘pull-ups’ did help with her son.
“I placed the potty in the bathroom, bought cloth
briefs, and also bought pull ups for the night. Ran
water. If he did not go right away it seem to do the
trick. I took him to the bathroom perhaps every two
hours at first, and monitored the times he would generally
potty.”
While the times and methods for potty training may
vary, there are a few guidelines that may help parents
on the journey to diaper free children.
1- Buy Your Potty Early
If you purchase your potty early, well before your
child is even at the ‘potty training’ age,
then you will peak your infant’s child’s
curiosity about what exactly the purpose of the little
chair with the hole in it is.
2- Keep Consistent Potty Break Times
Everyday, practice putting your child on the potty
seat every few hours without their underwear. Maybe
give them a special toy to play with that they can only
play with when they’re on the potty.
3- Remember To Praise
Even if your child doesn’t manage to use the
potty successfully every time, make sure you praise
them for trying. Stickers are great little ‘rewards’
for when they do manage to go in the potty as are little
trips or a snack they particularly enjoy.
4- Mistakes Happen
If your child does have an accident, let them know
that it’s not a good thing, so that they don’t
think they don’t have to try and learn to control
their bladder, but keep calm and reinforce your child’s
self esteem by letting them know you still love them
and they just have to try harder next time. Above all,
don’t yell or punish your child for losing control.
The most important thing to remember is that you and
your child are in this together. He looks to you for
guidance on this foreign journey. If you stay calm and
in control, chances are he will too, and that will extend
to control over his bladder. Though it may stress you
out, potty training is one of those child rearing steps
where patience is indeed a virtue.
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