Sex
After Baby
Are
you a mom that just had a baby? Are you wondering if
you are ever going to want to have sex again? Maybe you're
a dad that is having a hard time adjusting to your partner's
new role as a mother. Perhaps, you both still have the
same desires for each other but now there is no time. When
there is time, you are too tired. Then there are the
sudden interruptions by a baby that is supposed to be sleeping. So
what's a couple to do?
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New
parents often wonder when it is okay to resume having sex
after having a baby. Most doctors suggest waiting till
after having a postnatal checkup before having sex. Postnatal
checkups are usually done at around six weeks after the birth
of a new baby. If after getting the go ahead, you are
still not ready, talk to your partner about your feelings. It
is best to wait till you are both comfortable and ready to
resume your sexual activity.
It
is not uncommon for new moms to have problems "getting
in the mood", but it is important to make time for your
relationship as well as your new baby. The first few
weeks or months may be difficult to squeeze in time for anything,
let alone, time for lovemaking. And if you are not in
the mood, it is even harder to create the time. There
are many reasons new moms (or dads) lose interest in sex. Sometimes
it is as simple as being tired or feeling unappreciated. If
you think that your sexual drive is something to be concerned
about, you should consult with a doctor. Sometimes a
low sex drive can be hormone related or can be symptoms of
postpartum depression.
You
may need to be more creative to find time for sex and to get
in the mood. Before having a baby it was easy to have
spontaneous sex. But your sex life doesn't have to be
over just because you have a new baby.
Here
are some tips for having a great sex life after a new baby.
- Communicate
with your partner. For example, dad may want to initiate
sex when baby is crying. Rather than getting angry
or turned off by this, talk to your partner. Tell
him how this makes you feel. Let him know that your
role as a mother is important and that you are not choosing
baby over him. Good communication is the number one
factor in having a great sex life.
- Spend
time relaxing with your partner. It is hard to switch
gears from mommy mode to lover. Take some time to
relax before rushing into sex. Try listening to music
you both like or taking a bath or shower together.
- Erogenous
areas may be more awkward after baby is born. If
you are breastfeeding you may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed
if you have a let down or milk ejection during foreplay
or sex. Talk to your partner about how he feels about
this. It doesn't have to be a big deal. You
can help alleviate let downs by nursing or pumping before
sex. Or if you are very sensitive about this, you
can discuss with your partner other places that you enjoy
being touched.
- Try
creative visualization. If you do not feel like having
sex, spend some time relaxing and visualizing different
sexual activities you enjoy. Fantasizing is a great
way to get sexually aroused.
- Schedule
time for sex. Spontaneous sex is ideal but when dealing
with a new baby, it is not always possible. Nap times
are a great time for having sex. A common problem
is feeling rushed for time. Try planning bedroom
get-togethers during the start of a nap. .
- Make
time for sex, even if you don't feel like it. Waiting
around till you feel like it may not work. Your partner
may get frustrated because you had the "perfect opportunity"
to fit in sex and it didn't happen. The longer you
go without having sex, the less your desire will be. The
actual act of having sex will help improve your sex drive.
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