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Sex After Baby

Are you a mom that just had a baby? Are you wondering if you are ever going to want to have sex again? Maybe you're a dad that is having a hard time adjusting to your partner's new role as a mother. Perhaps, you both still have the same desires for each other but now there is no time. When there is time, you are too tired. Then there are the sudden interruptions by a baby that is supposed to be sleeping. So what's a couple to do?

New parents often wonder when it is okay to resume having sex after having a baby. Most doctors suggest waiting till after having a postnatal checkup before having sex. Postnatal checkups are usually done at around six weeks after the birth of a new baby. If after getting the go ahead, you are still not ready, talk to your partner about your feelings. It is best to wait till you are both comfortable and ready to resume your sexual activity.

It is not uncommon for new moms to have problems "getting in the mood", but it is important to make time for your relationship as well as your new baby. The first few weeks or months may be difficult to squeeze in time for anything, let alone, time for lovemaking. And if you are not in the mood, it is even harder to create the time. There are many reasons new moms (or dads) lose interest in sex. Sometimes it is as simple as being tired or feeling unappreciated. If you think that your sexual drive is something to be concerned about, you should consult with a doctor. Sometimes a low sex drive can be hormone related or can be symptoms of postpartum depression. 

You may need to be more creative to find time for sex and to get in the mood. Before having a baby it was easy to have spontaneous sex. But your sex life doesn't have to be over just because you have a new baby. 

Here are some tips for having a great sex life after a new baby. 

  • Communicate with your partner. For example, dad may want to initiate sex when baby is crying. Rather than getting angry or turned off by this, talk to your partner. Tell him how this makes you feel. Let him know that your role as a mother is important and that you are not choosing baby over him. Good communication is the number one factor in having a great sex life.
  • Spend time relaxing with your partner. It is hard to switch gears from mommy mode to lover. Take some time to relax before rushing into sex. Try listening to music you both like or taking a bath or shower together. 
  • Erogenous areas may be more awkward after baby is born. If you are breastfeeding you may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed if you have a let down or milk ejection during foreplay or sex. Talk to your partner about how he feels about this. It doesn't have to be a big deal. You can help alleviate let downs by nursing or pumping before sex. Or if you are very sensitive about this, you can discuss with your partner other places that you enjoy being touched.
  • Try creative visualization. If you do not feel like having sex, spend some time relaxing and visualizing different sexual activities you enjoy. Fantasizing is a great way to get sexually aroused.
  • Schedule time for sex. Spontaneous sex is ideal but when dealing with a new baby, it is not always possible. Nap times are a great time for having sex. A common problem is feeling rushed for time. Try planning bedroom get-togethers during the start of a nap. .
  • Make time for sex, even if you don't feel like it. Waiting around till you feel like it may not work. Your partner may get frustrated because you had the "perfect opportunity" to fit in sex and it didn't happen. The longer you go without having sex, the less your desire will be. The actual act of having sex will help improve your sex drive.

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