A:
There’s no magic number of friends a child should
have and your child’s temperament will play
a major role in determining whether she has one or
a dozen (more on this below). Your job should be to
stress quality not quantity. Here’s how you
can help:
- Actively encourage your child to get involved
in playgroups, either by setting them up yourself
or by joining a group of other parents of preschoolers.
While it comes naturally to some, for others,
making friends takes a lot of practice. Kids who
don't have ample opportunities to interact with
other children may never learn how.
- Keep
your child’s temperament in mind. “Active
kids who adapt well to new situations have the
most friends,” says James Cameron, Ph.D.,
director of The Preventive Ounce in Oakland, California.
“But kids who are shy and slower to adapt
usually have far fewer—but much deeper—friendships.
They often have trouble handling any more than
one friend at a time and tend to have ‘serial
friendships’ instead.” On a play date,
your active child will take off with a new or
old friend the minute you get in the door, and
he might not even notice when you leave. But if
you have a shy child, expect some clinginess and
plan on sticking around for a while. Telling both
children a story or getting the two of them set
up with an art project can really help break the
ice.
- If
your child is having some trouble making friends,
ask her teacher to pair her with another child
who’s having the same problems. And when
inviting other children over, make sure that you
keep the number of guests to one or two. The trick
here is to get your child involved in doing something
with another child that she would enjoy doing
on her own.
About
the Author:
Armin Brott bestselling books
including the recent release Fathering Your School
Age Child have helped millions of men around the world
become the fathers they want to be—and their
children need them to be. His most recent is Fathering
Your School-Age Child. Armin has been a guest on hundreds
of radio and television shows, writes
a nationally syndicated column, “Ask Mr. Dad,”
and hosts a weekly radio show. He and his family live
in Oakland, California. You can contact him at armin@mrdad.com.
