As young as toddler age, you need to start bringing
them into contact with other children. By letting them
play with children their age, they can learn the early
tools of socialization that will stand them in good
stead as they grow and become contributing members of
society.
Ever seen those mean spirited adults who steal your
parking space or steal your lunch from the staff room
fridge? They were more than likely brought up to believe
the world revolves around them. The sooner you can disabuse
your child of this notion, the better. By bringing them
into contact with other kids their age, you can teach
your child that there are other children who want the
same things that they do, attention, playing with a
certain toy, taking turns on a swing etc. As they learn
the joys of interacting with the other kids who are
just like them, you can impart in them the importance
of sharing and being fair and they can see how much
fun it could be to have someone their age who can share
their imaginative adventures and show them affection
too.
Mothers in the workforce are pretty much the norm now
and this leaves them with the task of finding someone
else to take care of their children while they earn
a living. If up until that point, you have been the
primary social contact your child has had, the adjustment
will more than likely be very difficult if you’re
suddenly not around anymore for the majority of their
day.
If you’re thinking of getting back into the workforce
after your baby is born or if you’re already working
and your maternity leave is winding down, you want to
start introducing your child to other children in the
neighbourhood. Take them for walks around the block
and stop to say hi to other parents who may have kids.
Let your child interact with these children for a little
while as you chat with the parents.
You may find that as you take these walks, your child
will already begin to recognize the houses that have
children they’ve seen. This is because as little
as they are, they are exploring the world around them
and taking everything in, so when they see someone who
looks like they do and talks like they do, there’s
an instant connection there.
Humans crave connections from birth. An infant will
turn its head at the sound of a voice and gradually
be able to distinguish his mother’s voice and
his father’s. As they grow older, they will establish
connections with other relatives, some they will like,
some they won’t. At family gatherings, all the
kids will usually end up in one room, playing and screaming
to their heart’s content, happy to be among their
own kind. They learn how to play together and all about
social standing within a group. Your child will discover
if he is more of a leader or a follower and this trait
will usually influence his behaviour as an adult. A
child will learn very quickly if he is able boss the
other kids around or not. If he wants to keep having
fun, he can either go along with the other kids and
play fairly or risk being turned away from the group.
It’s only in these kinds of interactions that
children learn the rules that govern socially acceptable
behaviour in adulthood.
This is why things like playgroups are so important.
They not only teach children about the rules of society
but they foster the friendships that will build their
self esteem. If you are planning to go back to work,
playgroups are a great way to prepare your child for
day care. Look around your neighbourhood and ask other
parents if they would be interested in setting up play
dates with your child. If there is already an established
playgroup, ask if you could join and return the favour
by having some of the play dates held at your house.
Be prepared for these social interactions to some
times turn ugly. Like grown ups, some children simply
do not get along all the time but this is how children
learn how to deal with problems and make decisions amongst
themselves.
The younger your child is, you’ll find that it’s
less likely the friendships they make will be permanent
ones. As they grow up and develop new interests, children
will sometimes look to make different friends. They
will search out ones who they have more in common with
them now. Eventually, your child will find a friend
or group of friends who change with him and yet keep
the same interests and ideas, becoming his best friends.
It’s a basic truth that kids with friends are
happier and well adjusted than those who don’t.
Our hearts go out to those lonely children you see walking
around the school yard by themselves. In most cases
with these children, they simply never learned how to
make friends. They are shy and withdrawn because they
weren’t put early into social situations with
other children so they don’t have the skills to
put themselves out there and feel uncomfortable around
children they do not know.
Friendships are important to everybody’s psychological
well being but none more so than children. They go through
their young lives feeling restrained, controlled, living
by rules they may not always like, feeling powerless
and like their opinions don’t matter. Having other
children around who have the same feelings helps shoulder
the burden and teaches them compassion and how to express
their emotions, traits that are necessary to their ability
to navigate the tricky world of adult relationships.
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