For some
parents, spanking is nothing more than another disciplinary
tool, no more out of line than time outs or removing privileges.
For others it’s child abuse and they make no
distinction between beating your child with a belt or
swatting their behind. Violence is violence.
So who’s right and who’s wrong? And does
the law offer any help in making that decision?
Well if we look to the law for answers we find that
according to the criminal code, ‘spanking’
is assumed to be used for the correcting a child’s
bad behaviour and as long as the force used is ‘reasonable’
then no law has been broken. But what exactly is considered
reasonable force?
After years of debate and challenges, the Supreme
Court finally came up with the following guidelines
for what is considered acceptable use of force in regards
to spanking a child:
- The force used must be intended to educate or correct
the child;
- The force used must be to restrain, control or express
disapproval of the actual behavior;
- The child must be capable of benefiting from the
discipline. In other words, factors such a child’s
age and disability will influence the child's ability
to learn from the use of force;
- The force used must be “reasonable under the
circumstances” and not offend society’s
view of decency.
They defined ‘unreasonable’ force
as:
- Hitting a child under two years of age. It is wrong
and harmful because spanking has no value with very
young children and can destroy a child's sense of
security and self-esteem. Children under two do not
have the cognitive ability to understand why someone
is spanking them.
- Corporal punishment of teenagers. It is not helpful
and is potentially harmful to use force on teenagers
because it achieves only short-term obedience and
may alienate the youth and promote aggressive or other
anti-social behaviour.
- Using objects to discipline a child such as belts,
rulers, etc. This is potentially harmful both physically
and emotionally.
- Slaps or blows to the head.
- Degrading or inhumane treatment.
- Corporal punishment which causes injury –
(causing harm is child abuse).
So that’s where the law stands on spanking. However
the fact remains that the parents themselves must decide
if just because it’s legal, if that makes it morally
right in their own eyes.
For Cheryl, a 40 year old product engineer from Columbia
Maryland, her educational upbringing had an influence
on whether to spank her son or not. “I try reasoning
and punishment first. I have popped his behind if he
was still in trouble about the same thing. The old adage
spare the rod, spoil the child is what I brought up
on. So, I took that but, was extremely modified in my
hands on approach. I have one son. We are God Fearing
people, so, I can’t say that this hindered my
feeling on discipline. I can say that I attended Catholic
school from kindergarten through college, during the
time when Nuns could spank the students. It worked for
me. I have a nice son, who is gentle and compassionate.
While he is firm in his opinion and beliefs, I’m
not sure when he marries that he will spank his kids.
Somehow I doubt it.”
So while religion and culture undoubtedly plays a role,
many parents have been put off of spanking instead of
encouraged by the fact they grew up in a time where
spanking was acceptable even in schools. The memory
of ruler wielding nuns who may have enjoyed their power
a little too much has given them an aversion to corporeal
punishment of any kind and this attitude carries over
to when they become parents. They see spanking as taking
the easy way out and believe that this teaches their
child nothing but that hitting is okay.
But for some, a light swat on a diaper clad bottom
is enough to get their message across to a child who
may be too young to be reasoned with. Lynne, a 55 year
old self-proclaimed ‘domestic goddess’ from
Toronto, Canada employed this method for her children
when they were young. She explains, “When children
are very young sometimes the only way to get their attention
in a dangerous situation might be a swat on their diaper
padded bums.” She believes that once a child does
understand why their behavior is wrong, then different
tactics should be employed such as loss of privileges.
Lynne also stresses the importance of positive discipline
in the form of rewards for good behavior.
For Sheri, a 45 year old customer service supervisor
from Cincinnati, Ohio, one of the most important things
for parents to take into account when they spank their
child is their own behavior. “I believe spanking
can be an effective means in disciplining a child but
must be done sparingly and never in anger. I think the
toddler and preschool age would be the most critical
time. As children grow older I think other means of
discipline are more effective.”
Spanking is undoubtedly a hot button among many parents.
While the law is clear on what they consider reasonable
and unreasonable force, for each parent the line may
not be so clearly drawn. What may be acceptable for
one parent maybe have her branded as a child abuser
by another. For some, spanking is a necessary tool to
bring up respectful children. For others, it only encourages
violent behavior.
The fact is, even using the law as a guideline, for
many people, until you are confronted with a child who
is throwing a tantrum or engaging in some other type
of misbehavior, only then will you truly know on which
side of the line you stand.
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