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Triumphing
Over Tantrums
Before
you had kids you probably witnessed an out of control child
having a temper tantrum at the store. More than likely you
thought or said, "If that was my child, I would ______". Well
now here you are with children of your own dealing with these
exact situations. Temper tantrums are a normal part of life
with toddlers and preschoolers. Almost all young children
have tantrums occasionally. If handled appropriately, most
children outgrow this stage by four or five.
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Some
children have severe tantrums and may get so upset that they
vomit or hold their breath until they pass out. Although this
can be extremely upsetting to the parent, the child will generally
recover quickly and completely. If your child is fainting
or vomiting from tantrums, you may want to consult your pediatrician
to check for any other health concerns.
How you handle tantrums will have a direct impact on the frequency
and intensity of the tantrums. Here are some tips on preventing
tantrums and how to respond to them.
-
Make
sure your child is not over-tired. If she is cranky or
tired put her down for a nap or try doing some quiet time.
You can lay down in the bed and read a book or play soothing
music to help her relax.
-
Be
consistent with your rules. If she has a tantrum and you
give in to her demands, she will try this again. The more
consistent you are, the more she will learn that tantrums
don't work.
-
When
you ask your child to do something, try asking nicely
first. "Mommy needs some help picking up the toys" usually
goes over better than "get in here and pick up this mess!"
-
Don't
use bribery. Does she really deserve a cookie for going
to bed on time or not misbehaving at the grocery store?
By doing this you will only encourage her to break the
rules to get a treat.
-
Don't
react to her by yelling at her to be quiet. This will
probably only upset her more. Sometimes in the midst of
an outburst it is hard for a child to regain composure.
Help her to calm down by giving her some quiet time in
her room. Offer her a cup of water to help her relax if
she is hyperventilating.
-
Sometimes
children have tantrums because they want your attention.
Look at the situation. Have you been watching tv, reading
a book, or talking on the phone? If your child hasn't
had much "mommy time", she may be trying to tell you something.
Once she has calmed down from her tantrum, try setting
some time aside just for her.
-
If
you are in a public place, remove the child from the situation
if you can. Go to the car or the restroom until she calms
down.
When
to call the doctor.
If you are concerned that your child's tantrums are extreme
or more frequent than they should be, call your pediatrician
for help. If your child injures herself or others, destroys
property, has frequent nightmares, regresses in potty
training, faints, has stomach aches or anxiety attacks
consult your doctor.
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