1. Please and Thank
You
Using please and thank you is by far the
most important rule of etiquette you can
ever teach your child. Starting before your
child can talk she should hear these words
often. As she begins to talk and uses nonverbal
cues and babbles to request her needs, teach
her please and thank you. When she hands
a cup to signal her need for a drink, teach
her "milk please", "juice
please", "drink please" and
reinforce "thank you" once you
have given it to her. As she grows into
toddlerhood insist on these magic words
with her playmates. Use please and thank
you yourself with friends, family, out on
the town shopping, and use it often. If
you set a good example, your child will
follow.
2. Excuse me
Another set of magic words that should
be taught from a young age is excuse me.
Excuse me should be used if you bump into
somebody, if you need to interrupt a conversation
for something important, when leaving the
table, and of course the unfortunate incidence
of any accidental belching or passing of
gas.
3. Interrupting
This is a really tough one for kids (and
even some adults). When children have something
to say, their immediate instinct is to just
blurt it out. Teaching your child not to
interrupt may take lots of practice and
patience. Teach your child polite ways of
getting your attention. In school, your
child will be taught to raise her hand and
wait for the teacher to call on her. A similar
approach can be used at home. Teach your
child to signal you when she has something
important to say that needs to be asked
or said and teach her to wait for you to
respond. Try not to make her wait more than
a few minutes to respond. A child should
be taught not to interrupt, but a parent
must also make a conscientious effort not
to ignore her child. Often a child will
interrupt when she is expected to entertain
herself for an unreasonable amount of time.
This is just not possible for small children.
Discuss with your child when interruptions
are important and when they can wait. Roll
play and practice at home appropriate and
needed interruptions and ones that are annoyances.
Praise your child when she does not interrupt.
Another approach we have used is the three
question rule. I was fortunate enough to
be blessed with a very inquisitive child
who would interrupt with question after
question which were usually trivial and
certainly not important enough to interrupt
a conversation with. He was taught that
he could ask three questions and to take
his time and think about which questions
were most important before asking them.
I'd ask him to try to remember his questions
and save the rest of his questions for after
the event was over and I'd do my best to
answer them. As he got older and could entertain
himself longer, I could then expect him
to save all his questions until after the
phone call, outing, or other event was over.
4. Table Manners
Table manners are perhaps the most difficult
challenge for parents. Eating at the table
is a very social experience for your child
and one of the more important ways to practice
up on their social etiquette. Here are some
simple table etiquette rules:
a. Wait until everyone is served before
eating.
b. Don't slurp, keep your mouth closed
when you chew your food, and don't talk
with you mouth full.
c. Place your napkin on your lap and
use it as needed.
d. Don't reach over other's plates. Instead,
ask for food to be passed to you.
e. Eat with your fork and spoon. This
is probably a given, but small children
love to eat with their fingers even when
they are old enough to use utensils correctly.
f. Don't ask for seconds until everyone
else has eaten (if you ask at all).
g. Don't wear your hat at the table.
h. Don't put your elbows on the table.
The easiest way to teach table manners
is to eat with your family at the table
and practice using them regularly. If your
child usually eats her meals in front of
the television or on the go, she will not
have have as many opportunities to master
table manners as she would if she ate her
meals at the table often. Teach your children
that using proper table manners is one way
you can show people you care about them.
You care enough about them to be polite
and well mannered throughout your meal.
5. Phone etiquette
If children are going to answer the phone,
they need to know how to answer it properly.
In the work place, proper phone etiquette
is a must and sadly, many adults do not
practice good phone manners. Use greetings
such as "Hello, may I ask who's calling?"
instead of answering "Who is it?".
Teach them to let the caller know when they
are setting the phone down or when they
will be handing the phone to another person.
Finally, teach them to say goodbye and wait
for the other party to acknowledge them
before hanging up the phone.