Day Two of holiday festivities.
Dear Diary:
Things are looking grim. We are now deep into our second “fest” of the week. Funds are getting low. Very low. Provisions in these strange lands are incomprehensibly expensive and my resolve is further weakened by subsisting on a diet of fried sugars and processed meats. Strangely, my traveling companions seem to be suffering none of the same ill-effects. In fact, my crew seems as invigorated as ever. It’s as if their very lifeblood has been enriched by the consumption of carbonated beverages, midway games, and running wild in the blistering sun. If this message reaches civilization please send bottled water and a parasol.
So seriously, I’ve never been a big fan of the carnival. I can pinpoint my dislike back to the exact day that I viewed the movie “Carny” (probably on one of my friend’s pirated Cinemax circa 1984). The movie stars Gary Busey as an abusive clown and Jodie Foster as a sideshow girl, and if that alone isn’t enough to scare you, I dare you to find and watch the movie for yourself. I’m sure it’s still available. In Betamax. Please, just read the review via the link. You won’t regret it. Or maybe you will.
Nonetheless, one of the covenants of parenting dictates that at some point you are required to chaperone your children to at least one carnival in their lives but what you don’t know (until it’s too late) is that once your children drink from the carnival fountain it’s as if they’re transformed into characters in “The Lost Boys” , and they become primitive and insatiable at the mere suggestion that a Tilt-A-Whirl may be in their proximity.
I must point out here that where my children are concerned, I have taken great pains with regard to their well-being. We investigate our babysitters carefully, scrutinize all daycare and preschool communities they come into contact with and go to great lengths to ensure that their elementary educations are conducted by the best teachers available. Strangely, however, I will pay top dollar to let this guy operate heavy machinery with my progeny on board:
I swear every year that THIS carnival is my LAST carnival but somehow we keep coming back. Below, I present a brief photo summary of the day with a few significant omissions. I wish I would have taken a photo of the 7,000 giant, inflatable toys that my children “won”. And I really wish I’d taken a photo of my daughter’s face when after FOUR hours of non-stop rides and games I informed her that we were heading home. The look she gave me as she wailed, “We JUST got here. You never let us have ANY fun,” really put the icing on my funnel cake. But by day’s end, I just didn’t have it in me to even lift the camera. (Did I mention I had a sweaty, 14 pound infant strapped to me the entire day?)
“Hold on. Is this a CARNIVAL? Have you never seen that movie with Gary Busey and Jodie Foster? What kind of parent brings their kids to a place like this?” (P.S. That’s our ever-cheerful babysitter, not me. I am never that cheerful. Especially when I have just shelled out $100 for “unlimited ride” wristbands.)
“You just paid to give me whiplash. I hope we have a good chiropractor!”
“Thanks for the spine-jolting ride on the baby “Giant Drop”. Don’t be surprised if I get off this thing 3 inches shorter.”
“Guess what’s securing me to this ride? A limp chain of plastic links. Thank goodness you drove me here in a carseat.”
And as an added bonus, I present to you the antics of the guy running the “Himalaya”. I really regret not capturing the routine he did to Lady Gaga’s “Disco Stick”. It was so family friendly.
Tags: carnival
