I never assumed that we would always agree. In fact, our first year was spent arguing and cursing and DEBATING* everything from who should wash the kitchen floors (him) the bathroom floors (him) the dishes (me) the clothes (me) to where we should live and how we should use our money. The make-up sessions were incredible.
Sometimes I marvel at how we made it to the wedding day. But then I reason that it was our ability to argue, to stomp our feet and get our point across, that made our relationship so strong. It was that ability to love and argue all at the same time that made me sure that he was the one for me.
The arguments have petered out, we don’t DEBATE like we used to. But we don’t agree all the time either. Is it complacency? Do we just communicate better? Have I learned to back off instead of insisting, over and over and over again, that he tells me what he’s thinking? Or did it just get too hard to argue, and easier to just accept it for what it is?
Maybe it’s that the arguments aren’t as easy to solve. Who washes the kitchen floor is a lot easier than some of the items we’re DEBATING these days. Finances, work, kids, and goals and dreams that haven’t been realized are difficult subjects.
Our trick these days is to have a ‘go’ at discussing it. When it gets too heavy, we walk away. On the days when we don’t have the energy to DEBATE, we go for walks, take care of each other, be kind to each other. Isn’t that what we promised to do? Ignoring each other is not an option.
