And I wanted to come on here to blog about some stuff that has been going on (Dakota starting Ballet, Willow getting her ears peirced) but I have been so under the weather lately that I don’t feel up for sharing much of anything.
I have just about had it with Dakota. I know so many of us go threw this HORRIBLE age (she is 3 and a half) but I am so depressed lately. Some days (most days) I want to go to work and never come home. I come home at 11pm and I keep myself up, til 2-3am sometimes just so I can be alone… I don’t want to go to sleep anymore because I don’t want to wake up in the morning and deal with her all over again. Part of me wishes I was back at my old job, working 60 hours a week, just so I don’t have to be home and take the abuse that my own child puts on me.
We started ballet, which she loves, but she is so horrible the rest of the day that I feel like struggling with spending the money just isn’t worth it. And I feel so bad that I actually feel like my child isn’t “worth” the money. I am hoping that ballet, the structure of the classes and having to listen to other people, will help her behavior in general, just right now I feel like I am rewarding her for all the bad behavior that has come up the past few months.
I have no motivation, my house is a disaster, and her Christmas List keeps getting shorter because 1) the money we just put into Ballet and 2) I feel like giving her coal instead.
I talk to her so nice and calm, I don’t raise my voice. Then she comes back at me with some nasty comment or threatens to put me in my room, or whatever. I stilll try to remain cool and calm but she will keep going. Then I loose it and I start yelling, which I HATE. And I hate even more that Willow doesn’t even flinch when I yell like that, which can be LOUD. She is so used to it and it breaks my heart.
Time out just doesn’t make a difference, neither does spanking (Ive tried it, and she doesn’t even cry, she just keeps talking back to me). If I put her in her room, she will throw objects at the door, lay on the floor kicking the door, or punching walls. I will go in there and yell at her again, put her on her bed, tell her do NOT move until I tell her, and guess what she is doing a minute later… beating up the doors and walls.
What kills me the most is what we deal with EVERY time we put her in the carseat. Now that it is cooler, she usually wears a sweatshirt. Her straps are loose (probably too loose) and she screams and cries the WHOLE car ride about how her sweat shirt is bunched up and the strap are too tight. Now this is because she put her hands under the straps and freaks out, ends up getting tangled in it. So I get her ready for Ballet, and the whole 20 minute car ride there she screams and cries at the top of her lungs, only to go to class, and scream the whole 20 minutes back.
Willow is an ANGEL, sleeps 10 hours every night, doesn’t cry unless she really needs something, just likes to hang out with you, doesn’t cry AT ALL in the car or carseat. I am thankful that she is so calm and mellow because if she weren’t, I would of already ran away.
Hi, just outta curiosity have you thought about talking to her doctor about her behavior? My 5 yr old started the same thing around 2 yrs old and it got so bad that my marriage was falling apart and i was ready to pack my bags and leave the kids with their dad. After talking with the doctor they sent her to behavior specialist. It tool a few months of testing and screenings but we discoverd ADHD and a type of autism called aspergers syndrome. After finding a child psycharist and getting her on the correct medications she was a completely different child. The meds didnt zone her out or make her a zombie but it slowed her fown just enough so that sh ewould listen and realize what she was doing. Not every child has these problems but it is worht talking to her dr about. Best of luck and God Bless