This afternoon I was at the local library, trying to use my library card after being away for 6 months. Picked my books, thought of sitting on the deck with a cup of tea in the sun, considered picking up some flowers on the way home.
The librarian took my books, scanned my card, told me I had overdue fines. In fact, not overdue fines. REPLACEMENT fines. Totaling $109.00. I, being right all the time, asked what books they were and then swore upside and down, inside and out, on my life and yours that I had returned the books before we moved. That I could not possibly have the books, that I am SO diligent about returning books that it was their system that was in error, not me. That’s right Mrs. Librarian, THE SYSTEM IS BRINGING ME DOWN.
Mrs. Librarian called the other branches, got everyone to check their shelves, confirmed that the books had not shown up elsewhere. I got all indignant and said that I wasn’t paying for books I didn’t have, BECAUSE I’M RIGHT ######. So indignant was I, that I turned and walked out of the library and left my pile of books for them to put away…and my library card.
15 minutes later I was back at the library desk asking for Mrs. Librarian. And I apologized.
Turns out, I did have the books. Whoops!
I don’t think that my own ###-y-ness has been more obvious than this. I was so RUDE, so embarrassed about my behaviour. I apologised, looked her in the eye and said that my behavior was rude and that I was embarrassed and wished that the rest of her afternoon went much better.
No excuses. Sure, there’s a lot going on in my mind lately. But being an #### to some nice librarian isn’t part of my remit. I hate that I did exactly what others have done to me. That would be me that you’re scraping from the underneath the pond scum.
mmmfff i fffed tapp…what, can’t understand me? That’d be because I’m stuffing my mouth full of humble pie.
