It’s off to work I go!
It has been nearly 15 months since I said goodbye to my job and I thought it would be rather traumatic for me to go back to work – expected there to be tears in my eyes as I rode the subway into downtown Toronto…..but there were none. This week was my first week back at work and even though it was hard to say good-bye to my rowdy beautiful children, I was able to do so without shedding any tears and I actually enjoyed myself back at the ole job once again. It was really helpful that my first shift back was an “orientation” shift and I was working with my closest co-worker and truthfully it looks like we’ve got a fantastic group of kids in the treatment center.
I know the next couple of weeks are going to be an adjustment as I try to find balance between my job and the family because my job requires varying shifts which can often leave me feeling like part stay at home mom, part work out of the home mom and I won’t lie …..this can really create a feeling of chaos in my life if I let it get out of control. I know that if I had a regular 9-5, Monday to Friday job I would barely see my children because by the time I got back home Violet would be getting ready for bed and then not long after Jacob would follow so in that way I feel really blessed that I often have weekdays off, and most times don’t start work until 230 in the afternoon. It’s kind of a lucky situation that has befallen Mike and I because we have never had to resort to any sort of institutional daycare (I’m not against this, so no flames please) but our kids have been fortunate to always be cared for one of us or their grandmothers; that feels really special and important to me and I’m really lucky to have Mike’s mom so willing to help us out…..I’m not sure how we’d get along without her. I’ve had a few people say “at least you get a break from your kids when you go to work” and truthfully it’s not really a break for me….I would absolutely chose to deal with my kids anyday over some of the difficult mental health struggles and challenges the teens at work are facing, but I do this job for various reasons – if I did not have them I would find some office job and go along with the mundane drill of it all.
I have no bad things to say about the organization that I work for at all because they’ve really helped me become the counsellor that I am today and this year marks my tenth year with the organization which has to mean something about my committment and dedication right? I have no idea what the future holds for me and my career but for now I’m happy to be there again, doing what I do well, and feeling accomplished in doing so….even if I do find myself missing my children several times throughout a shift.