April 29th, 2010 by

The what ifs…

I sit here watching my children play and I’m grateful for them. But at the same time I think of the What If’s…What if the first baby would’ve made it? What if we would’ve have a girl first? What if that baby would’ve stuck, would we have gone to Texas or just stayed here? What if…

It’s weird to think that we would have a 4yr old already. If that baby would’ve stuck and been a girl I wouldn’t have my Shaymee. And now after recent events its odd to think that we would’ve most likely had another reason to be joyful at Christmas time. The mind wonders, sometimes good and sometimes bad.

But tonight I want to say I’m thankful for my children. I want to send hugs to those with infertility and those that have had losses. It’s never easy no matter who you are.
Our first angel, Due 4/16/2006, went to Heaven on August 12th, 2005 (5.5-6weeks)

Our second angel, Due mid-late December 2010, went to Heaven on April 20th, 2010 (unsure on gestation 5-8weeks but probably more like 6.5)

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2 Responses to “The what ifs…”

  1. avatar AmyT says:

    My first angel was due on 4/16/05…exactly a year before your angel…we lost her/him at 13.5 weeks. I too think about all the what ifs. But am very thankful for what I do have today. HUGS to you!!!

  2. avatar MommytoAngelica says:

    I’m just now reading this. I lost a baby In April too. I lost my little bean on April 16th. I would have been due on the 21st of December. Big hugs to you.

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