It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, and for good reason. Things in my life have been turned upside down and have taken a turn for the better. Over a month ago, my husband and I have decided to get a divorce. I blame The Rapture. While I am not a religious person and in no way believed a thing that loony was saying about the end of the world and all, it did open my eyes to one thing… One day, I am going to die, and I wanted to die happy. I was not happy. I was content but far from happy. That’s when it clicked. I was not in love with my husband, and I was fairly certain he wasn’t in love with me either, so I had a talk with him and voilà! Here we are. He has practically moved out and is already moving on with his life, because well, he needs that. I have my kids, the house, and the dogs to keep me company. My littles have no idea what’s going on; my teenager, on the other hand, is having a very hard time with it. Therapy is helping, very slowly, but it is helping. She has a great therapist who she’s been seeing for years mainly because of her alopecia. I’m hoping she comes to terms with it soon and is able to move on. I’ll keep you updated on that one.
As far as I’m concerned, I’m doing great. I felt trapped for so long, and now that we are practically divorced, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I am a bit worried about my future. How am I going to support myself and my kids? I’ve spent the past 10 years being a wife and Mom…..now what? I never had a desire to do or be anything else. I went to school in Germany to be a dental assistant, but I’d have to start from scratch here. Not that I really want to do that, but I would just to get on my feet. My friend, who is also my lawyer, keeps telling me she needs an office slave. LOL! The biggest problem is this: Lo is still home all day. I guess I could put her in preschool a year early, but I’m not comfortable with that. Kevin and I have always agreed that the kids should stay home with me until they’re 4, and then only half weeks in preschool, not full day. Lex is going to be in kindergarten from 8:30 to 3! That’s a long day!! I work 2-3 days a week now in the afternoons, and Kevin comes and stays with the kids, but he can only do afternoons, and not every day. So now what? I will take a year to get on my feet, take a course, and then start working full-time next year when Lo is in school. I just hope things go smoothly. Wish me luck!