July 18th, 2011 by Beth

Attachment Parenting is not a tool for spoiling!

Earlier this week, I encountered a conversation with some friends of a friend that actually surprised me. I suppose I am so used to be surrounded by people who at least can admit that validity in Attachment style Parenting that I’m not used to people completely dismissing it as a form of spoiling.
I love Dr. Sears view on the subject: Spoiling happens when a child is put on the shelf, left alone, forgotten about - the way that food spoils.”


I’m not speaking ill of methods of parenting, but I do believe whole heartily in the logic with AP, and there are numerous studies and research to back it up.


Baby wearing is not “new age.” Wearing your children has been around since the dawn of time practically, and nearly every culture has their own ways to do it. Strollers are more new age. The first stroller was invented in the 1700’s. Babies were worn long before then. It’s not new, and it’s doesn’t spoil the baby. Studies actual show that a child who is attended to, a child raised in the AP style, tends to be more independent and well adjusted when they grow up. That’s not to say using a stroller will make your child dependent and maladjusted, it’s just more in favor for babywearing.


Not all baby wraps and slings are made equal. Snugglie, Baby Bjorn, etc are very bad for baby’s spine. The more primitive the carrier the better for baby. Slings, wraps (like Moby’s), and soft structured carriers are far better. The ERGO is a good compromise as the baby sits, rather than dangles. Plus, the baby is skin to skin with mama, where the Baby Bjorn and Snugglie are more in a pouch.


The other comments made were about breastfeeding. It is NOT child molestation to breastfeed your child past the first birthday. The biological age of weaning is between 2 and 7 years of age.


Just because babe can eat food doesn’t suddenly make breastmilk unhealthy. I love this quote: “ The first six months of breastfeeding are clearly much more important in terms of the baby’s nutrition and immunological development than the six months from 3.5 to 4.0 years. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t continue to provide breast milk if your baby wants and you don’t mind. It would be like saying, ‘Well Mabel, we don’t get very much income from that oil well anymore. Used to get $56 a month in royalties, now we’re lucky if we get $25 a year. Guess we should tell that oil company just to keep their durn money.’ And Mabel says, in return, ‘Good grief, Clyde, don’t be ridiculous. That check still buys $25 worth of food. Where has your mind gone to now?’”


Breasts were made to feed our babies. The sexual pleasure some women and men derive from them are not their first function. Nursing a child is no more sexual than changing their diaper. Anyone who thinks otherwise is the pervert - not the mother nursing. The health benefits to nursing are far to numerous to list, but are undeniable. Nursing a child will not spoil them or make them grow up to be sexual predators.


Whether you are an attached parent or a traditional parent, there should be respect for the way other people parent. There also has to be acknowledgment when research and history tells you that something is beneficial and not harmful.




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