Now before anyone gets all huffy I am NOT at all making a dig at her weight gain.
I personally think those people who mocked or made fun of her in the media are jackasses and
over-glorified bullies. Not that I’m the biggest Jessica Simpson fan in the
world, but I do think she was absolutely gorgeous while she was prego. She
glowed, as you’re supposed to in that state and, yeah, sure, she put on about 50-60 lbs, but so-freakin’-what! A) You know
it’s going to come off because she’s a celebrity that still HAS celebrity and stuff to promote and
B) Rumor is she’s got some serious motivation in the form of a several million dollar deal from Weight Watchers.
So my comparing her to an elephant has nothing
to do with her size, but rather how long this chick was pregnant. If you’re
a National Geographic-head like me or you’re just up on your knowledge of Pachyderms
then you know that elephants gestate for a good 22 months. See the connection!
I mean is it me or doesn’t it feel like we’ve been hearing about Jessica
Simpson being pregnant since fall of 2010?! I know it’s not her fault- I blame the
media and her father Joe Simpson. I’m not saying it’s right but I am
guilty of a little schadenfreude when it comes to the Simpson girls (Jessica and Ashley) and the circumstances surrounding their natal-ness. I just think it’s so ironically fitting that Joe Simpson, a
former Christian youth minister, has not one, but two
daughters who got knocked up before they got married. I swear I’m not judging,
but it just reeks of hypocrisy and irony.
I’m seriously not judging. In today’s day and age it’s almost the norm (esp. if you’re a celebrity) to get pregnant then get married same goes for when the clock is ticking for us over-30 moms. I just barely squeaked in as legal. My baby’s due date is EXACTLY 9 months after my wedding date. So I just want to say congrats to Jessica and What’s-His-Name on the birthday yesterday of their daughter Maxwell Drew. (Don’t even get me started on the name.) Can’t wait to see the spread in People magazine.