I don’t know why first birthdays are so hard. This is the 4th time I’ve done a first birthday, the 3rd with a living child. We did cupcakes & presents with friends today for Allison. Her birthday isn’t actually until Monday, but today worked best. Anyway, I was totally in the moment while IN the moment. But for the rest of today, looking at the pictures, part of my heart breaks over again.
Instead of this
I had this.
Cora’s first birthday was a beautiful day. It couldn’t have been more perfect. Except that she wasn’t there. Kind of a huge imperfection, I know. I wish I could have spent it with her. I wish I could have had pictures of her covered in chocolate icing. I wish I wish I wish.