October 10th, 2013 by

Finish This Sentence Link Up

I have found that I spend way too much time reading other people’s blogs instead of caring for my own. However, in doing so, I discovered this “Finish the Sentence Link Up Party” “Where We Can Live Like Jacknd Sally” which thankfully provided me with blog content of my own…if you can actually call this “content”.

My happy place… isround 10:00 whenll five kidsre in bednd I can lay in bed, eat chocolate chips from the bag, watch non-stop crime television on Investigation Discovery Channelnd vicariously relievell of my murderous rage from the day.
Whatever happened to… the school of life? Middle school informed me that homework is now to be referred tos “practice” (less overwhelming),nd my first grader had to signn “iPad use contract”. If I’d known education was going to devolve to this level I would have home-schooled. “Hey kids! Let’s “practice” spelling by playing “Words With Friends” on Mommy’s iPad!”
So what if I…. spend most of Parent’s Night catching up with friends while the teacher talks…and texting. Why should kids havell the fun? Plus, my behavior makes my kids’ behavior make total sense. Full circle y’all.
E! needs reality showbout… me. It’s my way of giving back to the world by making everyone else feel betterbout themselves.
My go-to fast food meal is… Does coffee counts meal? Because it does in my world. Iced coffee, crapload of creamnd no sugar – let’s keep it healthy shall we?
You might not know that I…m incredibly nosy. I have the hearing of bat (or whatevernimal has super sonic hearing). While it mayppear that Im simplyn “extra” innocuously millinground in the background of your life movie, Imctually cued in on every single word of your break-up conversation in the restaurant or the fight youre having with your husband that you think no one notices is fight in theisles of Target.
The hottest quarterback in the NFL is…lec Baldwin. If he played football…which he does…in my Fantasy League.
If I could… never have to hearbout Kardashiangain, I’d be happy lady.nd this is from someone who lives for reality television. I wish the words “Lamar Odom” could be wiped from my brain.
My personality iswesome because… Im old enough to know better than to carebout what other people think.
Twerking is…. old news.pparently no one has ever seen “2LiveCrew” video.
I think it’s super gross when… middleged moms wearbercrombie t-shirtsnd Hollister jeans. Give it up ladies. You look crazy.
Someone needs to tell Miley Cyrus…. that she needs to do more squats. Did no one but me notice her flat, flabby butt? You can’t call it twerking if there’s nothing there to twerk. Seriously – her un-toned derriere was to me, the most horrifying part of that whole MTV videowards debacle.

This was fun…and completely uninformative. You’re welcome.

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