August 14th, 2014 by

B’s Adventure Part 1: A Nap Bait and Switch, Neon Green Poop, and a Route Inspection

Last Saturday, when I was fresh off of finishing up time with students, I put the kids down for a nap and thought out loud, “hmmm…should I go on a bike ride or take a nap?” B said, “you should take a nap. You look pretty tired.”

My droopy eyelids agreed and a headed upstairs, closed our room darkening curtains, turned on the fan and laid down for a glorious nap. I was roused from my drool-inducing slumber a bit later to realize that B was getting cycling clothes out of the closet. I remember being somewhat miffed that he had convinced me to nap instead of riding. and then went riding himself..but then quickly fell back asleep.

About 3 hours later, the phone woke me up. It was B. He had decided to ride part of our potential new Brewery 100 route to do a bit of an inspection of the roads to see if they were biker friendly. “Hey Boss, wanna meet me in Frederick for some bbq in a little while?” I groggily replied, “Sure!” It doesn’t matter how groggy I am…you mention food and I am on it.

The kids woke up soon after and after some snacks to control the hanger, I loaded them into the Chariot and went on a quick-ish 2.5 mile run. If B was going to get in a good ride…then I was going to do something besides slumber.

A Chariot Full of Smithers Offspring

I got home just in time to shower, but hit one minor snafu when Squishy Baby managed to drag her entire walker/exersaucer toy thing to the cupboard, pull it open, and de-shelf a 12 pack of Mirror Pond bottles while I was in the shower. Two bottle caps were unsealed and I came downstairs to a puddle of beer, a laughing baby, and Sprocket saying, “Oh no, Baby Girl, you spilled Daddy’s soda!”

For those of you worried that I would shower while my child is in a walker…this is what I am talking about. It is *supposed* to be stationary, but Baby Girl is strong and coordinated and has learned to drag it everywhere in the kitchen.

I began the arduous process of getting the kids ready and packing the diaper bag (a much more complicated and time-consuming process than you think!). This process may have also included a potty break that resulted in Sprocket producing a bright green poop and me texting his daycare teacher to find out if he ate something with food coloring in it or if I should worry about my son’s radioactive bowels. Finally, we headed to Frederick — a town about 30 minutes away. For those of your worrying — apparently bright green SpongeBob cupcakes consumed on Friday come out the same color on Saturday.

After some wrong turns and map-checking (what town puts their main road on “Fifth St”?), I arrived at Georgia Boys BBQ and parked while B wheeled his bike over to the car. He was a tired and hangry, but keeping it locked up in true Mayor fashion. I only knew because of his trailing sentences — where he starts a thought and then just sort of trails off and acts surprised when you ask him to finish his thought. Classic Mayor Hangry-ness.

I handed him the keys and he loaded his bike on the car and changed out of his jersey and into a t-shirt. I headed towards the restaurant with Sprocket and Spark while B locked up the car and joined us.

Once inside — we did the usual kid-and-baby-high-chair-wrangling and B went to change out of his spandex shorts. After ordering, B suddenly looked up and said, “you have the car keys, right?”

“Um. No. I gave them to you.”

“But I handed them back…wait, no, I think I put them in my jersey pocket…in…the…car.”

Initiate the realize-you-are-45-minutes-from-home-with-2-kids-and-no-knowledge-of-where-extra-keys-are-in-your-messy-house sequence.

And that, my friends, is where we will pick up next time.

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