October and November have been hard months for me for the past 10 years. November 2nd, 2001, was the date that I said goodbye to my first angel, and then strangely enough two of my three other losses occurred between October 21 and November 19… So in the space of less than a month, I have three angelversaries. Zhavier’s anniversary is October 21st (2007), Jayden’s is November 2nd (2001), and then Micah’s is November 19th (2005). Of all the days they could fall on, I still don’t really understand how they all managed to fall so closely together. The anniversary of my fourth and final angel is January 6th (2008) - so still relatively close.
I do consider myself healed from my losses. I still think about my four angels, but usually it is just a quick thought here and there, that I forget about a few minutes later… But the past few weeks, my babies have all been constantly on my mind. I’m used to feeling this way at this time of year though. I find it hard not to think, and I guess that is understandable… It’s hard to not think about what life was like then and now, hard not to remember going through each individual loss.
Certain sights and smells make me think of my losses, silly things. Read the rest of this entry »