Kel

About our blogger: Kel

These days, I feel like I wear many hats: chef, secretary, financial planner, immigrant, speech therapist, that crazy lady down the street... At the end of the day, though, it always comes down to being a loving wife to my husband John and a mom to our two kids, Eric and Danny. It amazes me daily how quickly they grow and how much they fill our lives with joy. I spend most of my time blogging about the daily adventures of motherhood, and I am proud to be a part of the JustMommies blog family both as a contributor and editor.

John and I are blessed to be parents to a special needs child. Our younger son Danny was born with congenital CMV, and I am active in the community trying to spread awareness of this surprisingly common illness. Among his challenges, Danny is deaf, and he uses cochlear implants to hear.

Visit Kel @ http://quietsong.net/

Posts by Kel:

March 15th, 2012

Baby Time!

I’d been having crampy contractions off and on started on the 29th of February, though I was trying not to make a big deal out of it since I knew it could stretch for quite a while. Thursday (the 1st), I didn’t have many, but Friday they lasted much of the day. Still, they weren’t intense or building, so I went to bed just figuring the time was coming sooner or later.

I woke up at 5am Saturday morning when, in my sleep, I stretched…and my water broke.

Ironically, it wasn’t the massive, soaking gush that it was a few weeks earlier that took us into the hospital – more of a plop – so I just got up and puttered around for a while. A tablespoon an hour, the midwife had said, and a continuing trickle were the things to look for. I was having crampy contractions every 5 minutes or so, not very strong, so I did a few things on the computer, had breakfast, and otherwise wasted time. The one thing that stood out to me, however, was that this time my water, or discharge, or whatever it was wasn’t clear…it was a dark yellow to brown color. This bothered me, but when I called the (very sleepy, slightly grumpy) nurse on call, she told me it could just be my mucus plug, “but if you think your water broke, then you should go to the hospital, but if you think it didn’t break, you shouldn’t.”

Well, that was helpful.

By about 6:30 Read the rest of this entry »

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February 27th, 2012

37 Weeks: Making Life Interesting

I keep being told by people that I am “so small,” “too small to be so close,” and variations along that line. Even my doctor has said it! And I’ll admit, while a part of me feels good about that…I know it’s a total sham. Granted, I am not an “all belly” carrier of babies; I gain it pretty much everywhere. But truthfully, I’m feeling huge! I bump into stuff all the time because I don’t give myself enough room, I can’t get comfortable, and I’ve gained 50 pounds. Yes, 50. When I tell people that, they ask me where I’ve gained it, and to be honest I have no idea. It’s pretty much everywhere!

I’m on weekly appointments now until this baby chooses to arrive – or until 41 weeks, when he’ll be forced to make an appearance either way. My doctor scoffs at the idea of my still being pregnant at that point, and I pretty much have to agree. That, of course, means that it’s less than a month before this baby shows up! I’m ready to be done, but I’m also not at all ready; to me, 37 weeks is just a little too early! I had that belief tested last week, too, when I went to get up off the couch and suddenly found my pants (and couch) soaked. Um? I was the exact same gestation as when Danny started leaking on me – 36 weeks 4 days – but this was no slow leak, it was more of a gush. Suddenly, images from TV of women Read the rest of this entry »

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February 14th, 2012

Valentines for Boys

In Kindergarten, at Christmas, the kids made calendars for the adults in their life (parents/grandparents/whoever – they call them “your adult” to be safe). For January, Eric drew a family of snowmen, and it was cute. For February…

“Mommy, I drew you some hearts for Valentines Day, because I love you! But the hearts are all bombs, and they’re hooked up together. The guy, he’s a spy, and he made the heart bombs. They have a timer, and it counts down – 3! 2! 1! BOOM!!!!! But then the spy, he was standing too close to the hearts, so his leg got blown up when they exploded. He had to go to the hospital, Mommy, because he lost his leg.”

…

Yep, I’ve got boys.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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February 1st, 2012

Reading… Kindergarten Style

Eric seems to have found the “keys to the castle” when it comes to reading…because suddenly, he is doing an amazing job of it! For a while now, he has been bringing little poems and books home from Kindergarten, and he reads them himself. He has been wanting to read more books, but all of the level 1 or pre-1 books I’d found, even the Phonics books, were just a bit… Well, honestly, they weren’t too hard, they were just too long. He could read them, but by the middle of the book, he was tired of working so hard to read it.

“You read it, Mommy!”

So, I remembered a book series I’d heard of a while back – Bob books. Not Bob the Builder, though… Just Bob.

The first couple of books I flipped through from the first set seemed almost too easy, but they progressed quickly through the set, and by the end of it they were perfect for Eric. Short sentences, repetition, word families, and a lot of words he could easily sound out.

It was like mana from heaven for the kid when I brought them home. He was so thrilled that he could read books all by himself! Randomly, he would pick up one, sit on the couch, and just…read. Other times, he would tell me I needed to sit down so he could read to me.

He was so excited. He was reading! All by himself! Read the rest of this entry »

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January 18th, 2012

Balancing “Can” and “Cannot”

This little boy, I think, is always going to keep us guessing.


The first question may be – what on earth?

John and I have spent a few years, now, trying to figure out just how to parent this child…and many days, I feel like I’m still at a loss. It’s hard to know when to challenge what we know are his abilities and when to cater to what we know are his inabilities. It would be easier, by far, just to write off some things and let the status quo stand, but that’s not what we want for him. Stagnating and not pushing themselves isn’t what we want for any of our children. That being said, we know that Danny, in some areas, is more of a 2 year old than a 3 year old…but the trick is, many of those areas are disappearing. Rapidly. And then you have the areas where he’s more of a 4 year old, or older. (The other day, he read the first 2 sentences of the snowman poem that was sent home for Eric to read as homework. Um, what? “This is snowman happy,” the paper said, so Danny cheerily looked at it and announced, “Ih ish oh-am AH-ee!” And I assure you, it translated much better aloud than in writing.)

I try to meet him at his level, but sometimes that’s so hard to find! Read the rest of this entry »

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January 6th, 2012

Holy Cow – 10 weeks to go?

What I want to know is how, exactly, I got to be so pregnant. Of course, I think it snuck up on me mostly because of the holidays. I’ve definitely been feeling pregnant, and it’s hard to ignore the huge movement and rolling and pushing that’s going on in my belly these days, but in my head I just had my 20 week ultrasound…except I’m 30 weeks along now.

And that leaves a little over 2 months to go. Say what?

In one way, I’m ready for this baby to be born and to get on with it. In another way…not so much. I plan to enjoy these last months of pregnancy in a way I wasn’t really able to with Danny. In just 2 more weeks, I’ll hit that point in the pregnancy where – frankly – all hell broke loose. Instead of relaxing, picking up baby stuff, and oo’ing and ah’ing over all the clothes and toys and stuff being gathered, I was attending way too many appointments, getting weekly ultrasounds, and standing in the shower staring at my moving belly, wondering just how I would manage if this baby I carried was indeed severely disabled. Those are not exactly warm and fuzzy memories.

I find that, as I approach the 32 week mark, I am finally starting to lose the calm and mellow view I’ve had of this pregnancy. I expected to be worried the whole time, but really it’s just beginning to creep up on me. This child is a very active boy, and the movements are large and strong – which goes a long way to reassuring me. My biggest fear, though, is that I’m going to get sick sometime in January…a notorious time for the sickies to hit anyway…and it’s going to freak me right out.

Thankfully, my doctor understands all this. At my 28 week appointment, she told me she didn’t need to see me for 4 weeks (though usually I’d transfer to every 2 weeks at that point). I’m comfortable with that for now, since really things are going great and visiting the doctor next week with the boys still off school would be a massive pain in the butt. However, she told me that if at any point I am worried, for any reason, all I need to do is call and they’ll get me in. We’re also at the point now that we are doing monthly ultrasounds, not because there is any reason to think there’s a problem, but just because it makes us feel better. Read the rest of this entry »

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October 28th, 2011

Does Whatever a Spider-Pumpkin Does

This craft has been my plan to do since…well, forever. My mom used to make these amazing mini-pumpkins to sell at my dad’s store (he works in a produce department), and I’m not at all crafty and talented like she is, but I can certainly make it work for the kids! So far, we’ve made a spider and a ghost out of those little mini pumpkins you can find in the grocery stores for 75 cents, and Eric has loved doing it!

The spider is his favorite so far. All you need is some paint, 4 pipe cleaners, googly eyes (if you want them, or you can just paint eyes on!), and a glue gun. I went out an bought an ultra-cool glue gun for $5 at a craft store so I didn’t have to worry about the glue burning tiny fingers.

First, paint the pumpkin black! We used washable paints, and I learned that’s not the best idea, because the paint can and will flake later while trying to attach stuff to it. Next time, I’ll use just regular craft paint.

Set it aside and let the paint dry – Eric paints his pumpkin one day after school and does the decorating the next day. Once the paint is dry, take the 4 pipe cleaners (I had Eric pick; he wanted red) and fold them in half. Cut at the fold so you have 8 legs. Read the rest of this entry »

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September 29th, 2011

Earning and Saving

With Eric getting bigger – I still marvel every day as he throws on his backpack and climbs onto the school bus – he’s discovered that things cost money. Tricky business, that, as he no longer gets to pipe up saying “I want that!” and have it magically become his! A lot of things he requests be added to his wish list for his birthday or Christmas, but when there’s something he just HAS to have, some toy or game, it’s becoming his responsibility. (Not always, of course; he still gets some freebies!)

Of course, to buy things, you have to have money. We are terribly mean parents, though, and we don’t just give it to him – he needs to earn it. Sometimes he earns it by identifying money for Daddy - a quick lesson in what a dime, nickel, quarter, and penny is can earn those coins for him, or he’ll help count the bills and add them up to tell Daddy how much money he has (earning a little of his own along the way). For everything else…


I was tempted to say “There’s MasterCard,” but I managed to restrain myself.

Instead of an allowance, Eric has a chart of “extra” chores. These do not include the things that are just expected of him: putting his clothes in the hamper when they’re dirty, cleaning up his toys, putting away his folded laundry, etc. Read the rest of this entry »

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September 12th, 2011

Making the Plan: VBAC and other issues

Finally having hit the 12 week mark in this pregnancy, I was able to have an appointment with my actual doctor to discuss all the ins and outs ahead of us. Before then, appointments are mostly to get things done: blood work, dating ultrasounds, that sort of thing, all handled by the nurses.

My doctor, whom I absolutely love, walked in with a little gleeful “Oh my gosh, Kelly, I was so excited to see your name on my list last night!” We have bonded, she and I, largely because we just get each other. We see a lot of things in the same light, we handle things much the same way, and we just generally speak the same language. Because we get each other, she doesn’t talk down to me or over me like some doctors do, and my appointments are mostly us chatting and covering things on a very equal level. She ended the appointment by giving me a hug and saying she thinks we’re going to have a lot of fun with this pregnancy… Can’t beat that!

There was, of course, a laundry list of things on both of our minds that we needed to take care of along with the usual checking of weight, blood pressure, and baby’s heartbeat. Incidentally, I ended up getting another ultrasound; when she went to check the heartbeat, she warned me that – for whatever reason – she has a hard time finding heartbeats at 12, 16, and 30 weeks. Of course, she couldn’t find mine, so after less than a minute of trying she just chuckled. “That’s enough, I’m ADD. I’m not concerned, but I’m not letting you go home yet either – let’s just pop over for a quick scan.” Sure enough, baby was just demanding a photo shoot, floating upside-down (making it hard to find the heartbeat with a doppler) behind an anterior placenta (meaning it’s on the front of my stomach, between the baby and anyone trying to check on it). Eric was the same way, so that works for me.

Because my dating ultrasound measured 5 days off my due date, it was left to the doctor to decide what to do about it. She decided to leave it alone, so I’m officially due March 12, no backsies.

We discussed delivery options for this baby, and we agreed to do a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). She said I’m a great candidate for it, and there’s no reason I’d need a second c-section (unless something pops up later in pregnancy, of course). I’ve already delivered a baby “normally,” my c-section was due to Danny being breech, I don’t have a history of having trouble in labor… There’s no reason not to, really. Some people cite some increased risks with VBAC, but in her words, Read the rest of this entry »

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September 7th, 2011

Grains of Salt

Have you ever noticed that, on the Internet, everyone’s kid is either special needs or a genius?

It’s a strange phenomenon that I’ve noticed over the years, though it took me a while to catch on to it. I remember when Eric was a wee baby, and I was just getting into online mothering communities. I was always so upset and concerned when “all” the other kids were doing stuff he wasn’t. Every kid develops at their own pace, of course, but mine seemed to be always behind! (Never mind that it was a group of babies born in July, and Eric was born with only 7 hours left in that particular month…)

Now, I’m not saying I don’t participate. I don’t want to, I don’t consciously do it, but I suppose every mom has that instinctive urge to talk her child up. The Internet just makes that a lot easier, because all we have to base it on is a small number of anecdotes and photos.


Does the daily special come with red sauce or white, waiter?

I have learned, however, that anything I hear, read, or see about kids the same age as mine online is that it needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Read the rest of this entry »

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