Lady Valkyrie

About our blogger: Lady Valkyrie

I'm Sharron, a jobseeking schoolteacher and mum from the UK. My son Daniel, 5, has Autism Spectrum Disorder and my blog is all about documenting our experiences on this journey, good and bad. I'm also currently trying for baby number 2 with my soulmate Shaun. I'm a spiritual soul and can't bear to waste a second, so I spend spare time between job applications writing - blogs, consumer reviews, spiritual articles and poetry - or doing oracle readings for people, earning myself the nickname of "angel lady" amongst regulars. I host several boards on JM and am a member of even more, so you're likely to see me around.

Visit Lady Valkyrie @ http://heartofavalkyrie.blogspot.com/

Posts by Lady Valkyrie:

December 12th, 2011

Progress

Daniel has been very busy this last week or so doing some of his Christmas jobs. Last year, he didn’t do anything himself - I wrote out his cards after a long and unfruitful attempt at getting him to help, and I purchased and wrapped presents “from Daniel.”

This year, he took £15 of his own savings from odd bits of pocket money to get presents for his Nanna, Daddy, and me. He decided where he wanted to go (Asda) and chose a calendar for his Nanna and a tin of chocolates for his Daddy from the selection available in store. I had to choose my own chocolates in the end since he’d lost interest by then!

He then “helped” with wrapping those along with his present for my partner (which I gave to him to wrap from my January sales collection) by choosing the paper, tags, and star for each person and writing his name on the tags himself.

I was even more impressed this Wednesday when he wrote out his Christmas cards to all the children in his class. OK, I wrote THEIR names, and I wrote out the envelopes, but Daniel put his name and a kiss and did a Christmas stamp in every single card - for 29 children and 5 teachers. Usually his concentration, especially with writing, is pretty poor, so this is a major breakthrough for him!

He’s really looking forward to his own presents and cards now having put time and energy into the ones he is sending. I’m feeling he’s going to understand and enjoy Christmas more this year than ever before.

It’s been a week of progress in more than one way, too! Reading requests are taking off to the point that I had enough money to treat myself to a couple of albums I’ve wanted forever and not had the money to buy (ironically, including “Progressed” by Take That).

Even better, I have a lesson observation and interview for a long-term teaching assignment next week! I am so happy to be shortlisted. The job market is so competitive these days and it’s so easy to feel like you’re on the career scrap-heap. No matter what the outcome, I am well-prepared and know I will have tried my best; and I know I was good enough to get an interview out of a large field. It’s given me a real boost.

I guess the moral of all this is perseverance. Perseverance makes progress!

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December 3rd, 2011

Keeping the dream alive

I’m speaking, of course, about the magical fantasy that is on every child’s mind at this time of the year - Santa Claus - and what parents have to do to keep that dream alive.

I got my son to write a letter to Santa Claus with me. Well…I wrote, and he dictated. We wrote about what his interests are and how hard he has tried at school this year, and he asked Santa Claus in particular for a big aeroplane, a big rocket, a big monkey, a big helicopter, and an In The Night Garden toy. He posted it in the letter box himself.

Incidentally, up to now we’ve always had a reply from Lapland, free of charge - all you have to write on the envelope is “Santa Claus. North Pole.” And if you want a response guaranteed, a friend of mine offers a solution for that - Santa’s Letter Box.

I went to finish off buying his main presents yesterday - my aunt and I had already obtained a few, fortunately including a big aeroplane and a big rocket. Being out of work at the moment, things are tight, and I have had to juggle money left, right, and center. But I know if I don’t continue our tradition and deliver what he’s asked Santa for, he won’t believe any more.

I slogged around various stores trying to get the best deal and trying to find stores where they had what I wanted in stock. It took me the whole time Daniel was at school yesterday. But I know if I don’t deliver, he won’t believe in Santa any more.

Why is it so important to me? I always believed in Santa as a child. I still half-believed when I hit the teenage years, and then as an adult, I have reached the conclusion that Santa does indeed exist - as a spirit, an energy, a value, an archetype, and an inspiration. Us parents and carers may do his dirty work, but I do still believe in Christmas miracles. Christmas is a magical time, and long may that be so…whatever it takes to keep the dream alive.

If you’ve never read the beautiful article, “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus”, from which I take my cue, make this year the year you do it, and allow yourself to see Christmas through a child’s eyes once more. Christmas magic is more important than ever in the chaos of economic crisis we all face today.

November 21st, 2011

Decisions with extra dimensions

Every decision I make has to be carefully weighed up against Daniel’s autism.

The biggie at the moment is whether or not to try for a baby with my new partner before it is too late - given that I’m 36 now! There are health issues to consider, as well as I have IBS medication I would have to stop taking.

I think Daniel would be ok with it; I spoke to him briefly about a baby brother or sister in the car today, and he seemed quite amenable, though thoughtful, about it.

Even into the future, I feel like decisions are looming over me such as what to do about high school if he isn’t going to cope at that point. As I’m a teacher, homeschooling may be an option, though I would worry about attempting to teach high school maths and science! Even though I haven’t had another baby yet, I can’t help thinking about the fact that Daniel must be provided for with some sort of care plan, residence, and/or job - whatever he is capable of at that point in the future - before Shaun and I are not here anymore, because I wouldn’t want the responsibility falling on an unsuspecting sibling with a right to a life of their own.

And of course, there is always the worry that if I have another child, that child too might suffer from autism or asperger’s. It’s also completely likely that they won’t. Many doctors have said it’s usually genetic, and only half of Daniel’s genes (my side) would affect another baby, as it wouldn’t be with the same partner. However, I cannot trace autism in my family other than Daniel, and besides, I think it’s quite likely his delays and behaviors could have been caused when he suffered lack of oxygen to the brain at birth due to a collapsed lung. But the worry is always there.

Still, I suppose it pays to be prepared, and then whatever goes better than expected is a bonus!

November 10th, 2011

Five Reasons Why Autism Moms Rock!

Five Reasons Why Autism Moms Rock - Article

I’m feeling really apprehensive about the coming term, which starts on Tuesday. I have a meeting with Daniel’s teacher, LSA, headteacher and the Inclusion guy from the local authority on Wednesday regarding provision for Daniel at lunchtimes. My being able to apply for long-term and full-time jobs depends on this decision, and additionally I do feel it’s best for Daniel to be in school at lunchtimes learning how to interact, cope and avoid violent behaviours, but need to know he is safe and not making other children unsafe.

Later in the term I’ve been promised an invite to a programme for children Daniel’s age where parents can meet up to learn about autism and things they can do to help, and of course for children who share the same problems to meet, interact and play. I’m looking forward to it as a little bit of a lifeline, but apprehensive as well.

A lady just posted this fantastic link on my mommies’ forum and it has really made me smile, and given me that extra little bit of strength I needed to get through this week. It’s so true of me and I’m sure of lots of autism mothers. So I am sharing the link with you all in the hope it comes at just the right time for you too!

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