meanboys

About our blogger: meanboys

Typically I can be seen at local Targets, Walmarts and other super-centers hissing veiled threats at a cartful of children while simulaneously appeasing them with Slurpies, popcorn, soft pretzels and gum.

I am a first grade teacher and mother to four (soon to be FIVE) children who I find delightfully clever, funny and adorable (when they are not being exhausting, persistent and pesky). Although I am driven to distraction by too much noise, it seems I function best in chaotic situations with tight deadlines. I am passionate about reading and writing, and consider myself witty and well-read (the people at Borders would be happy to verify this). When it comes to hard news, I choose to get most of my information from People, US Magazine and In Touch Weekly. I am currently working on my Master's, my sanity and watching every single episode in the Law & Order SVU and CI franchise. If you are a person who sneezes more than three times in a row you will be asked to leave my blog.

Visit meanboys @ http://poolhallace.livejournal.com/

Posts by meanboys:

March 25th, 2014

Waking Up To the Garbage Truck

garbage truck photo: Task 20 - Identify correct vehicle - Garbage truck TASK23Trash-Truck.jpg
I’m not gonna lie…the last couple of days I have felt stretched to my limit.  I may have had a few minor meltdowns.  I may have left a note on the kitchen table informing people that I was going to shut off their phones and close my chauffeuring business if they didn’t start helping me clean up around this joint.  I may have envisioned a few times swerving off my intended kid pickup/drop-off route and high-tailing it to some remote location.  Alone.  With a radio station of my choosing playing the entire time.

Instead I have kept plugging away and increasing my use of under-eye concealer at the same time.  I would dream about Read the rest of this entry »

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January 13th, 2014

Favorites Lately

Here are a few things I’ve been loving lately:

1) If you are tired of Pinterest boards that make you feel depressed, inferior and utterly despondent over the lack of chevron in your home decorating, check out this board. It’s called “My Imaginary Well-Dressed Daughter.” It’s penned by a mother of boys who finds the craziest child fashion photos and turns them into hysterical musings about her imaginary daughter, Quinoa. I read every single pin in one sitting and laughed my ass off.
Here’s a sample:

In what could only be described as an existential crisis, Quinoa had some tough, pointed questions about what happens to clothes after they go out of style. #MIWDTD

In what could only be described as an existential crisis, Quinoa had some tough, pointed questions about what happens to clothes after they go out of style.

2) Adam Pally on “The Mindy Project.” “The Mindy Project”, as I’ve already told you Read the rest of this entry »

December 12th, 2013

The Competitor

Eliza is a natural born competitor.  Unlike me, who suffers immediate gastrointestinal distress from the mere words, “contest”, “competition”, or “race”, Eliza gets excited and focused. Excited. Even if she admits to being a little nervous, once it’s game on, you would never know.  She steps up to every challenge with the same happy smile and quiet determination.  If I were a true Tiger Mom, (or even Tiger Woods’ dad), I would be all over this action trying to finesse my child into the next, great champion (insert sport here).   Fortunately for Eliza (but unfortunately for the sake of endorsement deals), my competition induced anxiety exists even when I’m not the one competing. which means I’m only good for holding her coat, nervously overspending in the vendor area, and choking out a shaky “Good Luck”, before she departs my company.

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Eliza’s cheer season ended with a final competition a couple of weeks ago.  I’d missed the first one due to a conflict in scheduling, but let me assure you, ONE cheer competition is all anyone really needs to endure see in their lifetime.  If I thought one super-peppy, high-octane, mega-talky 11-year old was more than I could handle, imagine trying to endure a 6-hour day inside a stadium filled with them.  And their crazy, super-peppy moms.

I was never a cheerleader.  To begin with, at Eliza’s age I was shy, nerdy and totally into my Charlie’s Angels Barbie Dolls.  I was also super uncoordinated, kind of a tomboy, and not very popular.  Now….flip ALL of that, and you have my eldest daughter.  She is everything I aspired to be as a young girl, and the kind of girl that I envied.  At 11 Eliza is athletic, poised, popular, outgoing and mature beyond her years.  She is also gracious and kind and big-hearted and a hard worker.  If she weren’t my kid, I actually kind of hate her a little bit… Read the rest of this entry »

December 4th, 2013

The Competitor

Eliza is a natural born competitor. Unlike me, who suffers immediate gastrointestinal distress from the mere words, “contest”, “competition”, or “race”, Eliza gets excited and focused. Excited. Even if she admits to being a little nervous, once it’s game on, you would never know. She steps up to every challenge with the same happy smile and quiet determination. If I were a true Tiger Mom, (or even Tiger Woods’ dad), I would be all over this action trying to finesse my child into the next, great champion (insert sport here). Fortunately for Eliza (but unfortunately for the sake of endorsement deals), my competition induced anxiety exists even when I’m not the one competing. which means I’m only good for holding her coat, nervously overspending in the vendor area, and choking out a shaky “Good Luck”, before she departs my company.

***********************************

Eliza’s cheer season ended with a final competition a couple of weeks ago. I’d missed the first one due to a conflict in scheduling, but let me assure you, ONE cheer competition is all anyone really needs to endure see in their lifetime. If I thought one super-peppy, high-octane, mega-talky 11-year old was more than I could handle, imagine trying to endure a 6-hour day inside a stadium filled with them. And their crazy, super-peppy moms.

I was never a cheerleader. To begin with, at Eliza’s age I was shy, nerdy and totally into my Charlie’s Angels Barbie Dolls. I was also super uncoordinated, kind of a tomboy, and not very popular. Now….flip ALL of that, and you have my eldest daughter. She is everything I aspired to be as a young girl, and the kind of girl that I envied. At 11 Eliza is athletic, poised, popular, outgoing and mature beyond her years. She is also gracious and kind and big-hearted and a hard worker. If she weren’t my kid, I actually kind of hate her a little bit… Read the rest of this entry »

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November 18th, 2013

Our Vague and Puzzling Family History

We are terrible at taking pictures. Terrible. And there’s no excuse since my iPhone is with me at all times.

Larissa’s teachers asked that we send in a family picture for their class book and I didn’t have a single current photo (read: within the last 6 months) where all seven of us were all together. It’s like we’re Yetis or something. I found several photos of all five kids, so I figured I’d just send one of the children and a separate one of me and Rob. Say “hello” to Mr. & Mrs. Loch Ness Monster. Nothing. The most current photo of us is from a summer carnival we went to two years ago. Knock on wood that none of us ever goes missing since I’m pretty sure it’s hard to identify people based upon photos of them that are decades old.

I finally located a terrible photo of all of us taken in a very dimly lit Olive Garden the night of my birthday (in June). Larissa? Sorry that your family photo looks like one of those miserable Civil-War era ones. Enjoy all the awesome photos of your classmates in matching outfits on the beach. When we are all much older I hope that between the seven of us we’ll be able to recall one or two clear memories of our family history because few photos exist – and the ones that do have very little context in them to explain where we were or what we were doing.

Case in point: Rob and I took the little kids to the Johnny Appleseed festival which takes place in our town every September. It was a gorgeous day, there were tons of fun activities and the four of us had a great time….which you would never know – because I only took THREE PHOTOS. And here they are. Read the rest of this entry »

October 29th, 2013

Haunted House

A few years ago Rob did some work for a customer who transforms the entire exterior of his house into a haunted showcase every Halloween.  The set up is an impressive array of motion-activated monsters combined with horrific vignettes and live actors.  There is so much thought and detail put into the entire affair that you can really feel how much passion he has for this “hobby” and how much he enjoys putting the whole thing together every year.

Hayden has totally inherited my fear gene.  He does not like anything creepy/spooky/startling/alarming/gory or even a little bit scary.  I am not kidding – if you stand behind a doorway and then jump out to scare me, you will be in jeopardy of being punched, and it is certain that I will be incredibly angry at you for at least 12 hours.  Even though we check this house out every year, Hayden has yet to ever leave the car.  Of course, I have to get out and put on a brave face for the sake of my other kids, all of whom are incredibly delighted by having the bejeezus scared out of them.

Even though the display is generally the same each year, I am still totally creeped out and am STILL caught off guard when I trip a sensor and something jumps up or flies down or starts to moan.  I wasn’t on the property for more than two seconds before I set something off and ended up screaming into Larissa’s ear.

Kellan and Eliza ran deep into the heart of this freak show like they were Read the rest of this entry »

October 21st, 2013

I’m gonna pop some tags….

My kids joke that the song “Thrift Shop” was written just for me.  If it wasn’t, it should have been, because you know I love me a good thrift store.

Since Halloween is around the corner and some of us are still trying to assemble costumes, I forced the entire family to hit our local “Savers”.  There was the requisite moping of course, so I tried to liven the situation while Rob combed the racks for costume ideas.

I would count to five at which time every kid had to hold up the ugliest shirt they could find.  The winner took a dollar.  I really wish I could have run the game and my camera at the same time.  Weston had quite the knack for picking winners.  After only two rounds we were all doubled over with laughter.  At the end, Weston came out $6.00 richer.

While we played, Rob found this: Read the rest of this entry »

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October 10th, 2013

Finish This Sentence Link Up

I have found that I spend way too much time reading other people’s blogs instead of caring for my own. However, in doing so, I discovered this “Finish the Sentence Link Up Party” “Where We Can Live Like Jacknd Sally” which thankfully provided me with blog content of my own…if you can actually call this “content”.

My happy place… isround 10:00 whenll five kidsre in bednd I can lay in bed, eat chocolate chips from the bag, watch non-stop crime television on Investigation Discovery Channelnd vicariously relievell of my murderous rage from the day.
Whatever happened to… the school of life? Middle school informed me that homework is now to be referred tos “practice” (less overwhelming),nd my first grader had to signn “iPad use contract”. If I’d known education was going to devolve to this level I would have home-schooled. “Hey kids! Let’s “practice” spelling by playing “Words With Friends” on Mommy’s iPad!”
So what if I…. spend most of Parent’s Night Read the rest of this entry »

October 2nd, 2013

Hayden is 15!

I am woefully behind on my birthday letters to the kids, so I’m hoping to catch up sometime over the next couple of weeks and deal with the fact that they are neither sequential nor timely.  That’s just the way it is.

What a difference 10 years makes!

Dear Hayden:

Is it nuts that I am old enough to have a 15-year-old when I swear I can remember being 15 myself?

That might be a good thing in that I can still recall how crazy-confusing it was to Read the rest of this entry »

September 24th, 2013

Back to School By The Numbers

Well, the school year got back into full swing at the end of August, and while I was sad to say “good-bye” to time with the kids, I was also more than ready to say “hello” to routine…and freedom.

School started for Hayden on a Monday and the rest of the kids followed suit on Wednesday.  Unlike years past when the first day consisted of a brief 4 hours of class time, this year they instituted a full day right out of the gate.  I told myself that I would take a break from thinking/working/chores/projects, etc. during the first half week, but once Labor Day was over I would dive into all of the projects and activities that had laid fallow all summer long.  Buuuuut…as we all know, the best laid plans don’t always go accordingly.

Let’s start with the good stuff:

Hayden’s first day:

Hayden has grown about 50 feet over the summer.  No joke.   Read the rest of this entry »

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