About our blogger: Nina
My name is Nina, but the little people running around my house call me Mommy. :) The MAN and I have been married for almost 9 years and it hasn't always been easy, but it has been FUN!! Together we have 3 kids, 3 dogs and 2 cats. So yeah, we're busy. I enjoy cooking, baking, reading, taking pictures of my kids, gardening and just generally spending time with my family. I love blogging about my everyday life as a Mommy and wife. There is never a dull moment!
December 27th, 2011
eing a parent is hard, but being a single parent is twice as hard. Not having those extra pair of eyes and hands to help help with everyday things. No one to turn to and say, “I’ve had enough today, you take over for a while.” No one to vent to anytime you just need to let it all out. What’s even harder as a single parent is finding people who understand what you’re going through. People who get it. So when I stumbled upon the site Single Mommyhood, I was thrilled! They’re site is full of great advice from real single parents going through pretty much the same thing as I am, and I need that. I’m the only single parent in my group of friends, so they have no idea what I deal with on a daily basis.
If you’re a single parent, Mom or Dad, you should head over…….
Me~
November 4th, 2011
You’re so funny with your October snow storm that left me stuck in the house WITH FOUR KIDS because of a gigantic tree limb that fell in my driveway and you left me with no power. No power = cold, cold, cold!!! No power also = insanity in my house. My teenager was having a sleepover, so I had TWO teenage girls afraid to pee in the dark bathroom. Thank you, thank you so much for surprising me once again. But, you know what? I still love you and I’ll forgive….this once! Cut that out from now on though, because my yard and trees can’t take much more damage…….
Read the rest of this entry »
October 23rd, 2011
“I don’t want to live anymore. I just want to die.”
Those are the exact words my teenager said to me last Thursday. I was heartbroken, scared, angry and of course, confused. She has been doing so well these past few weeks. She’s been so happy. Everyday when I’m making dinner, she rattles on about her day, how great or bad it was, how great school is, and so on and so forth. So when I got a call from the school on Wednesday of last week saying they had heard from the principal of another school that one of their students, her best guy friend, had said that he was afraid she was going to hurt herself, I was floored. There is no way! Not my child. She’s happy! But then came the phone call from her school on Thursday. She was in the guidance counselor’s office, and she was “not doing good.” I rushed down there, and sure enough, she had told her counselor that she “just wanted to die, and she had a plan to kill herself.”
It took everything I had not to cry. The counselor then told me that, if a student has suicidal thoughts, it’s procedure that they be taken to EMH at the nearest hospital. I gathered her and all of her things together and took her to the ER. I had to take Lo with me, because I had no one to watch her - not something I wanted to do, but I had to. So there we were, all three of us at the ER talking to various doctors about the situation. Come to find out my daughter’s ex boyfriend has been harassing her, having his friends harass her and grope her. This was all new to me. I haven’t heard about this kid since the incident last school year when he got suspended for harassing and threatening her. Why didn’t she tell me? How did I not know? Why didn’t she trust me enough to tell me??? This is all that kept running through my head while she talked to the doctors. I was stunned. Stunned and sad. I was failing somehow. She doesn’t trust me.
After the ER doctor walked out to get the paperwork ready for EMH, she looked at me and said, “You have so much on your plate. I didn’t want to worry you.” Yeah, because my kid killing herself isn’t worrisome at all. I just sat there staring at her, because I didn’t know who she was anymore. Read the rest of this entry »
October 4th, 2011
I know, it’s been forever since I’ve blogged, and I am sorry. Not really. 
I’ve just been so busy with life, kids, work, dogs and of course trying to catch a shower here and there. Just so you know, I did shower today and I’m blogging in a towel. Didn’t want you to think I was a dirty blogger.
ONWARDS!!!
School has started. YAY! We are only into the second week and Lex already doesn’t like it. He says “It makes me too tired. Uhhhn!!” Great. The boy would rather sit at home naked doing experiments trying to “blow things up the safe way”. Just like his Mom. He makes me so proud. Another great event happened while I was gone. Lex went from this…….
To this………. Read the rest of this entry »
September 26th, 2011
I’ve talked about irrational Mommy fears here before, but now I have a whole new set of irrational fears now that Lex is in full-time school. When I drop him off he has to walk all by himself to his line outside his classroom door. That’s when I stand there and wait until he walks in and I know he’s safe. Then it starts: the worrying.
“What if he needs me and starts crying, then runs out of the class and down the street searching for me, all the while screaming MOMMY!!!!! over and over again?!?!”
That’s when I have to keep from crying my eyes out. The “What ifs” are never ending. I hate that I can’t walk him to his line. I hate that I can’t homeschool him. I hate that he doesn’t really like going to school. I just hate it all! Another huge fear of mine is some kid losing his mind and taking a gun to school and shooting up Lex’s kindergarten class. I know that’s a bit much, but I think of it almost daily. I have to force myself to not think about horrible things that could happen to my kids. It’s just an awful feeling, and I know you know what I’m talking about. I actually try not to go too far from town, ya know, just in case. It’s ridiculous. I am trying harder to have pleasant thoughts and to not worry so much, but gosh, it’s hard. 
September 24th, 2011
Well, it’s time. It’s time for Miss. Lo to get with the program and kick the diaper habit. I am a firm believer to let your kids tell you when they’re ready, but Lo is head strong and also not a fan of undies. She’s a diaper fan. If asked if she wants to sit on the potty, she answers, “Um, no. Not today.” Then she saunters off to destroy something. We have had some luck this past week, when she actually agreed to go diaperless and has actually peed on the potty. I’m consistent; every day when we get home from dropping Lex off at school, I ask her to take her diaper off and then tell her to use the potty if she needs to. Here’s the problem: some days she flat out refuses to do it. She will take her diaper off, but then throw a fit to have it back on, and she refuses to use the potty. I have no idea what to do about this. She is 3, and all my kids have been potty trained by 3 1/2, but I have a feeling she will be the problem child. And I tell you what, I am all set with diapers. DONE! I don’t ever want to buy them again.
I’m a nervous wreck thinking about having her in diapers past 3 1/2. It just can’t be that she refuses to use the potty. She knows exactly what it is and how to do it and when she has to go, but she hates it and has said “NO!” The other day, she didn’t even say no, she just went and got a diaper and said, “Here. Put this on me.” WTH, kid?! I just… I don’t know what to do. I don’t pressure her, I don’t insist she do it, I don’t yell. I tried treats and stickers and rewards and well, she is just not having it. So I’m giving up. I will still pull the potty out and take her diaper off, but I won’t fight her. I hope she decides to just do it on her like the other two. Because honestly, giving her a treat and saying, “Good job, Lo! You’re such a good girl!” just makes me feel like I’m treating her like one of my dogs, and that’s just no good. So feel free to leave your advice or dark humor or just tell me I’m not alone!!!!
August 29th, 2011
I hate that word: fear. I’ve never been one to “fear” anything (other than spiders), but with the divorce finally starting to become real - we’re getting ready to file papers as soon as we can figure out what the Hell most of it means - I’m realizing that I am going to be on my own! All alone!! Not only the money situation scares me; it’s the not having that extra pair of hands or the extra set of eyes to help keep my kids safe. Lo is at that age where she is starting to just bolt, and OMG is it scary!! I was that crazy lady in the pet store parking lot screaming “LOLITA ANN JOLIE!!!! FREEZE! FREEZE!! FREEEEEEEZE!!!” and chasing her around the car. It was not one of my prouder moments. It’s moments like those that make me grateful that I didn’t let Kevin talk me into “just one more.”
I know that, somehow, probably with me working my ass off, everything will be okay. And when I say I work my ass off, I mean it. All day, every day. I’m so glad that we are now back on school time, the kids are asleep at 8 pm! WOOT WOOT!!! You have no idea how much easier that makes things for me. I was letting Lex have “movie nights” and let him stay up later than usual, like 10pm, and then Lo would be up all damn night with night terrors, and then I’d be up early, and well, you know how it goes. So when I think of being alone, it scares me. When I think of supporting three kids on my own, it scares me. When I think of how many spiders I’m going to have to kill myself, it scares the heck outta me. BUT that is just how sure I am that I do not want to be married anymore. I’m willing to do this alone. Kinda sad actually, if you think about it. Poor Kevin. He’s really not that bad. It’s just, well……ok, maybe he is. LOL!! I kid, I kid!! Let’s just say that his humor has saved him many times.
I look forward to the end of this chapter and the beginning of the new one, because frankly, I’m kinda sick of talking about “the divorce,” being a “single mom AGAIN,” and so on. I want to get back to life, blogging more and finally setting up my damn clothes line that’s been sitting in my mudroom for weeks! Maybe tomorrow I’ll post pictures, something fun.
July 14th, 2011
Raven is 15 years old going on 5. Granted, this whole divorce thing has turned her world upside down and flipped around, but still…the girl is the biggest drama queen. I had actually thought of just not telling her and letting her think her Dad was abducted by aliens and is allowed to come home 2 days a week, because that is just how much I did not want to tell her. I kid, I kid. When I told her, there were tears and lots of them. I talked to her and explained that it was for the best. She cried some more. I called her therapist and asked if we could go back to every week instead of every two weeks just to help her through this. So far so good. Now, since this happened, she has said that she doesn’t want to be home with us, she doesn’t want to talk to us, and just wants to be left alone. I let this slide for a few weeks, because I didn’t want to stress her out and have her lose more hair. But after her not being home for almost 2 weeks and only coming and going for money, food, and clothes, I had had enough. I talked to her and said that this is our life now. She has got to learn to deal with it. Boy, did she hate me. She was pissed!! But I held strong and didn’t back down. What came next surprised even me! She had a list of things I am not allowed to do. Here it is:
- I’m not allowed to date. Ever. Forget ever getting married again, because that would ruin her life all over again.
- I’m not allowed to go out. Ever again. God forbid if a man sees me all dressed up and looking good.
- I’m not allowed to look good. I need to cover up and stop wearing makeup.
- I can’t have a night job. (I’m pretty sure she has an idea that I used to dance and is horrified that I may go back.)
- I can’t turn into one of “those crazy pet hoarders because I’m lonely.” (Seriously, kid? WTF?)
That last one is my favorite. HAH! Because I would totally hoard myself some chihuahuas. Read the rest of this entry »
July 13th, 2011
Don’t know if some of you already know this or not, but I was a single Mom to my teenager for 5 years before I got married to Kevin. It was tough, I’m not going to lie, but we managed. I did what I had to do for years to get by. I was a stripper. The hours were exactly what I needed, I came and went as I pleased, if I had to call out no one gave me a hard time, and most of all…I could make a lot of money in just one night. I started when she was a year old and kept dancing until I got married. Actually, I danced for about a year after I got married, so almost 7 years. In between, I had “real jobs” every now and then, mostly during the Summer time when the business was slow. I never let the business get to me like it did some of my friends. I just worked and that was that.
Then, after I got married, things were a little different. I didn’t want to be there anymore, and Kevin wanted me to stay home. So I did. I became a Stay-At-Home-Mom. And I loved it! Now that things have changed and Kevin isn’t here anymore, I’m having to relearn how to be a Single Mom. Damn it’s hard. And now I have three kids to care for! THREE!! AHHHH!! So far, so good though. I haven’t lost one yet, they’re all clean and well fed. I’m the one who hasn’t showered yet, and I’m mostly eating their leftovers. LOL!! But we are managing. I’m having to change a lot of things, like bedtime. Kevin used to put Lex to bed, and I would put Lo to bed. Now I’m having to figure out how to do that. Thankfully, it’s summer vacation, and we haven’t had to plow right into the school time routine. I can kinda get used to things now and be all set in the Fall. Since I can’t leave either of them alone, I now make a bed on the living room floor and put Lo on the left and Lex on the right. I sit in the middle and read them a bedtime story, and they then fall sleep. 
I actually like it. I realize that we can’t always do that, so I plan on moving Lo upstairs with us, moving the computer and bookshelf downstairs to her room. That will be the office. I think that will work. When I told Lex, he was very excited about it. Right now, he’s only 5 and isn’t wanting his own room, but when he does, I’ll move him into Lo’s room and Lo into his room and move the computer back up here. Voilà!! I got it all figure out. Read the rest of this entry »
July 10th, 2011
It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, and for good reason. Things in my life have been turned upside down and have taken a turn for the better. Over a month ago, my husband and I have decided to get a divorce. I blame The Rapture. While I am not a religious person and in no way believed a thing that loony was saying about the end of the world and all, it did open my eyes to one thing… One day, I am going to die, and I wanted to die happy. I was not happy. I was content but far from happy. That’s when it clicked. I was not in love with my husband, and I was fairly certain he wasn’t in love with me either, so I had a talk with him and voilà! Here we are. He has practically moved out and is already moving on with his life, because well, he needs that. I have my kids, the house, and the dogs to keep me company. My littles have no idea what’s going on; my teenager, on the other hand, is having a very hard time with it. Therapy is helping, very slowly, but it is helping. She has a great therapist who she’s been seeing for years mainly because of her alopecia. I’m hoping she comes to terms with it soon and is able to move on. I’ll keep you updated on that one.
As far as I’m concerned, I’m doing great. I felt trapped for so long, and now that we are practically divorced, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I am a bit worried about my future. How am I going to support myself and my kids? I’ve spent the past 10 years being a wife and Mom…..now what? I never had a desire to do or be anything else. I went to school in Germany to be a dental assistant, but I’d have to start from scratch here. Not that I really want to do that, but I would just to get on my feet. My friend, who is also my lawyer, keeps telling me she needs an office slave. LOL! The biggest problem is this: Lo is still home all day. I guess I could put her in preschool a year early, but I’m not comfortable with that. Kevin and I have always agreed that the kids should stay home with me until they’re 4, and then only half weeks in preschool, not full day. Lex is going to be in kindergarten from 8:30 to 3! That’s a long day!! I work 2-3 days a week now in the afternoons, and Kevin comes and stays with the kids, but he can only do afternoons, and not every day. So now what? I will take a year to get on my feet, take a course, and then start working full-time next year when Lo is in school. I just hope things go smoothly. Wish me luck! 
