The friendliest place for moms and moms-to-be!
Lisa Rae Page Rosenberg is a survivor of 16 years in the television business. She worked, by turns, as a writer, director, producer, casting associate, and the gal who gets everybody’s Starbucks order. Later, she spent time as a counselor at an outpatient program for adorable teens with un-adorable psych and addiction issues. Working in the orbit of actors, rock stars, comedians, and teenagers prepared her for a current gig as the stay-at-home mother of a pre-schooler named Bob. Lisa writes a family humor blog called Smacksy and on occasion, enjoys talking about herself in the third person.
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“…And whose idea was it to cross the street without a grown-up, Bob?”
“It was Dylan’s.”
“Really?”
“I don’t really remember whose idea it was.”
“I think you probably do remember, Bob.”
“Yeah, it was actually my idea.”
“I was afraid of that. Do you know how serious this situation is?”
“I think I probably might for sure I do pretty much kind of yeah.”
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“Mom is that rock and roll on the radio?”
“Yes, it is.”
“What band is it?”
“The band is called The Who.”
“What?”
“The Who.”
“Who?”
“I’m not going to do this.”
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“Are you taking a bath tonight, Bob?”
“No, not tonight.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yeah, I only have about four dirty parts.”
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“Bob, we need to talk about your birthday.”
“I know! It’s only two months away!”
“Do you want a theme this year?”
“Like last year it was ninjas and zombies?”
“Right.”
“Yeah. This year the theme is going to be Black Sabbath.”
“So a rock and roll theme?”
“No. Just Black Sabbath.”
“Mom, wouldn’t it be cool if Teddy lived long enough to meet my kids?”
“It would. Are you planning on having kids soon?”
“No. After college I’m going to live with the guys in a guys’ apartment for awhile and then I’m not sure. I do know that part though. I mean, I’m only six and three-quarters.”
“Bob, I found out I’m going to be a chaperone on your field trip tomorrow.”
“What’s a chaperone?”
“A chaperone is someone who comes along to help and make sure everything’s okay.”
“So like if someone barfs?”
“I guess so.”
“Or poos themselves?”
“I think we’re going to have fun.”
“Sounds like it.”
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“Are we going to the park now, Mom?”
“Yeah, but when it’s time for us to go home I don’t want any meltdowns or negotiations. Deal?”
“Deal.”
“Great.”
“But what if I forget the deal?”
Bob brings it.
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“Bob, may I please have some of your ice cream?’
“No… I mean yes… I mean okay… I mean sort of… Like… Maybe some but not a lot?”
“Sure about that?”
“No… I mean yes… I mean come on, Mom.”
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“Mom? Can I get this chocolate?”
“No, not today.”
“How about this one?”
“No, Bob. Come back.”
“But, Mom!”
“Bob, now please.”
“No.”
“Robert, I will dance in this aisle. I mean it. All around you.”
“Stop! No! Okay! I’m coming!”
