Last week on Tuesday, we got an inquiry from our adoption agency. They were going to start working with a law firm in another state. It was our choice whether or not this law firm would have access to our profile. We were forewarned that adoptions in this state can cost upwards of $40k. (Compared to $20-26k in Wisconsin). This law firm had birthmothers waiting to be matched and no waiting adoptive families.
After discussing the situation, Tony and I decided to have our information provided to the law firm. If something came of it, we would talk about what to do then. It couldn’t hurt to have more exposure.
Less than 24 hours later, we got the phone call that we have been waiting 6 months… 1 year… 2 years… all our lives for. And it’s true. Nothing at all can prepare you for that moment. Our agency was sending us information about a birthmother from the law firm who was due in July with a baby girl. There were some health concerns that we needed to look at. We were asked to respond if we were interested in 48 hours.
First I think we were in shock. Tony was in an airport, I was at work and all we wanted to do was see each other and talk about what this could mean. He didn’t get home until after I was asleep, so the next morning was the first time we were able to talk about it. We ended up coming up with a lot of questions, we called our social worker and she gave us as much information as she could. I had to go to work, so Tony called the law firm to ask the questions that we still needed answered.
It was a whirlwind of what-if and how are we going to make this work? It was 2x what we had expected to pay for an adoption. We could make it work, but what would we sacrifice? The list was long… we wouldn’t be able to move out of our house for quite some time, if the birthmother changed her mind, there could be a financial loss that we may never recover from… that would mean we wouldn’t be able to (more…)