I know, I know, I’m a bad blogger. Once again it has been way to long. I’ll start off by announcing that our first NTNP (not trying, not preventing) month was a bust. I didn’t track ovulation, but I did start four days early. I’ll see what happens next month and maybe we’ll start tracking again to see what’s going on in there. Yes, old habits die hard. I like the freedom but wish I knew what was going on with my body all the same.

Now, why haven’t I blogged? Frankly, there hasn’t been a lot to say on the topic of this blog. We’re not on meds, not actively trying, and haven’t really started with the adoption stuff. We have been plenty busy and I will give a brief general update but to post as things happen, I think it would take too much from the meaning of this blog.

When I started writing, I was in a difficult spot. We had experienced three losses, were starting testing, and taking the plunge into ttc again. I needed an outlet for those emotions and fears. Now, I don’t need that as much, but I still want this blog’s main focus to be about our journey to parenthood–it just so happens our journey has slowed to a crawl. (more…)

Chris and I have reached a ttc/adoption agreement. You see, Chris isn’t ready to be done. He wants to jump into soy if I’m not pregnant. I, on the other hand, am very ready to be done. After four years of losses and infertility, I’m ready to move on.

We talked about it again this morning and have agreed that we will continue to pursue adoption as planned. I have promised to not rule out soy but have asked to at least take a break for an undetermined amount of time.

He doesn’t seem overly happy with the decision but he’s not protesting it either. I need time for me. I need to get away from it all…get rid of the stress. We will not be preventing, but we also will not be actively trying to conceive.

Within a few weeks the content of my blog will be changing some. I’ll still talk about our angels, but the ttc aspect will no longer be here. We are done with medical assistance after tomorrow. If tomorrow’s IUI does not work, we will be moving to adoption and that will be my main focus here. If it DOES work, then hallelujah I’ll get to talk about pregnancy fears.

Today, I’ve already killed my phone battery. I had to call and cancel a job for tomorrow because of the IUI. I then called on some adoption options and of course called Chris at work to discuss it all. I have another call to make and hope to be sharing more details soon.

DH: “They were here for days. Not my fault you didn’t eat more of them.”
Me: “It’s not MY fault I was nauseous for days.”
DH: “It might be.”
Me: “No it’s yours.”
Lex: “Hopefully it’s baby’s”
Me: “Yea, and you put the sperm there, so it’s YOUR fault.”
DH: “You put the egg there.”
Me: “No, my sperm-donor that made me a girl put the egg there.”
DH: “But you let the egg out, in that neighborhood, around that time…it was asking for it!”
Me: “Geez, this is going on JM…”