Posts Tagged ‘earthquake’

Forever marked…

Sunday, May 22nd, 2011 by by

Today, there is a global telethon fundraising event, to raise money for the Christchurch Earthquake Relief fund. I started watching the coverage on TV at 9am when it began – and quickly realized just how much the quake has effected me. I’m forever marked, forever changed by it.  My family and I got off lucky compared to a lot of people, a lot of families…  But there is still a lot of grief I feel, a lot I don’t understand, a lot I can’t comprehend.

I am forever changed. My family is forever changed. My neighborhood is forever changed. My city is forever changed. My country is forever changed…and to be right in the middle of such a life changing event, it really is  impossible to try to describe how it makes you feel.

Watching the coverage this morning, they were showing some new footage of the CBD, and every time you see new footage, it’s like you are witnessing the whole thing for the first time. I see buildings I used to walk past everyday when I was working in the CBD – and they are destroyed. If it wasn’t for a bit of signage on the ground next to it or the colors they’re painted, you just wouldn’t know what building you were looking at.  Areas that I used to stroll through, shops I used to wander into for an innocent look around – shops and areas I never REALLY paid attention to, that I took for granted, are just GONE…

What is really hard to see is the businesses that look as though they’ve been frozen in time (and I guess in essence they have been) – cafe’s and restaurants with tables & umbrella’s still outside, businesses with their ‘open’ signs still showing, businesses advertising a sale that was on at the time of the quake or a sale which was starting soon after.  It really is like life is frozen in time. Someone pushed the ‘pause’ button.

Possibly, the hardest buildings to look at (more…)


Refugees, Evacuees.. that is we!

Sunday, March 6th, 2011 by by

The girls and I are officially classed as ‘refugees’ or ‘evacuees’ now, due to the fact we are ‘temporarily displaced’ from our home because of the earthquake.  The quake hit 11 days ago, and my area is still without water, power, and sewer, so we are still camped out with my parents. To be honest, I think I’d sooner be here than at home, because I need a little support to get through all this.  It’s tough being strong for the girls (mainly Gaby) when I am not really feeling all that strong. I have become really good at faking it, making Gaby think everything is fine and dandy, and this is just a fun little ‘sleepover’ at Nan & Poppas.  Of course, she knows what has happened, but I don’t want her to see me being weak – not that there’d really be anything wrong with that…

I guess I just want my Mummy & Daddy as much as Gaby wants her Mummy.

Gaby won’t let me out of her sight, and she cries when either of my parents leave for work. It’s really hard to see. She doesn’t know of anyone who died in the quake (well, not at the moment, and I hope that’s how it stays), but it’s almost like she can sense the enormity of the loss of life, and I guess she is afraid it’s going to happen again – to one of us.  It is ‘nice’ to feel so loved and needed, but it is at the point now that she refuses to go to her father’s, which isn’t something I want. As much as he irritates me, I still want Gaby to have a good relationship with him, and to spend time with him when she can.  Perhaps if she won’t go tomorrow, I’ll suggest he comes here and takes her to the park for a couple of hours or something… I don’t know…

As I said in my initial post-quake blog post, my niece has finally arrived – and she is a little beauty!  (more…)

Devastation hits my city.. It’s bad this time.

Monday, February 28th, 2011 by by

I am really emotionally drained, and pretty much traumatized.  I had just arrived at my parents when the quake hit – I had put Emmy on the floor, went to smell Mum’s flowers she got for her birthday, and then the house started shaking. I raced to Emmy, falling over on the way, and knew all I could do was just dive on top of her… Stuff was falling down all around me, and I was just closing my eyes hoping we were out of the path of anything.  After it was over, I started hyperventilating and managed to drive to my Mum’s work (2 minutes away) to see she was okay, then found a route to get to Gaby’s preschool. On the way, I got a text from my Dad… I knew we were all alive, so I felt a little better then.

We are at my parents’. My house is okay, but the general area is an utter mess; I’m in Avonside, if you see that on the news at all.  The main road my street comes off is terrible, and so is the intersection just around from me (AGAIN!!)… I have been too emotionally not with it to take many photos, but I am uploading some now on FB.

When Dad got home, he told us he had left the CTV building 20 MINUTES BEFORE THE QUAKE – in which it collapsed. I think we’re all having trouble processing that, and what could have been had his appointment been 15 minutes later.  It’s just…. I tear up whenever I think about it.  My Dad isn’t handling it well. He’s such a strong man, but you can see how troubled he is.  He just got a phone call to say his doctor is missing.

My family is alive though, our houses are standing. I do know of one woman who has lost someone… I am dreading them releasing the full list eventually.

Yesterday we got power, and it was the first time we actually saw images of the utter devastation in the CBD. (more…)

Standing still… Time, that is.

Saturday, September 11th, 2010 by by

It has now been a week since ‘the big one’ hit, and I have to say, I feel really really out of kelter.  It is like life – in Christchurch – has stood still, yet everywhere else, it has continued at its usual 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year pace.  I guess another way to say it would be to say that it feels like we are in a little world of our own.  We have 350,000+ people who are waiting with baited breath for the next quake to hit, for a little more damage to be done, for our nerves to be shattered just a little more.

I haven’t felt a quake in almost 24 hours, yet I still find myself waiting for another big one. It feels like we are starting to finally come out of the emotional, stressed out, anxious fog of the past week, but I know that it will just take one or two big aftershocks, to be right back there again.

It’s weird how something like that effects you.  I didn’t really cry afterward (except for the night of the quake), nothing of mine (or my families) has been damaged, yet I feel traumatized by it.  I feel guilty for feeling traumatized when I got off *so* easily.  There are thousands of people who are far worse off than I am, yet I feel as if my whole world has been knocked down around me.  I don’t think it has still REALLY hit me what has happened.  It all seems so abstract.  I haven’t seen the damage to the CBD yet – not with my own eyes. I haven’t seen buildings that have been demolished, or that are going to be… I have seen the damage to the road, but I guess THAT damage feels like it could be related to anything, wear and tear, bad engineering…. Maybe it will take actually seeing the destruction of buildings to make it set in. (more…)