Posts Tagged ‘grieving’

Heartbroken

Thursday, June 30th, 2011 by by Valerie

This has been a very challenging few days - not for me personally, but tragedies affect me differently now that I am a parent, and I feel sick and heartbroken when people I barely know or have never even met are going through tough times. I am truly feeling at a loss this week because of 2 horrendous tragedies that have happened, both dealing with very young children. A 9 month old died from head trauma after a fall from a low height. It’s impossible to imagine what the parents went through immediately after as they try to understand what caused a very common incident with young children to become fatal. In the other, a young child around 3 drowned in a pool on a family vacation. I do not know the details, so I cannot share any more than that, but it is something I cannot stop thinking about.

I cannot stop picturing either accident in my head. I cannot stop feeling sick for these parents and the grief they are feeling. The other thing is that I cannot stop the anger. I have written about this before (see My Faith and Healing), and I honestly still struggle at times. I could feel it all bubbling again today when I woke up. I just started the day angry, short fused, no patience, everything bothered me and quite frankly, I was very grouchy. I just couldn’t stop it. In my heart, I knew that I should be grateful and so thankful for any and all time - good and bad - I get with my children and should enjoy every minute, but I was struggling. And it’s all because this is how I deal with sadness. I cry when I am alone, but when anyone else is around, I get angry - not at them, but because I feel so completely and utterly helpless. I can’t do a thing to help these people. I can’t change the situation. I can’t comfort them with just the right words. I just can’t do anything, and I hate it. I wish I could stop the anger. I wish that I could say that I fully trust God’s plan, and in a way I do, but I just don’t like it. I don’t understand it, and I would love to know why these things happen, but like I said in a previous blog, I *have* to believe that there’s a reason. I have to, because if I don’t, I am totally helpless. At least now I can do one thing, and that is pray for comfort and peace for the families that are devastated with grief right now.

Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit
Lamentations 3:31-33
For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.
Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

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The Truth

Saturday, January 8th, 2011 by by Brittanie

The truth ISN’T that you will feel “all better” in a couple of days, or weeks, or even months.

The truth IS that the days will be filled with an unending ache, and the nights will feel one million sad years long for a while. Healing is attained only after the slow necessary progression through the stages of grief and mourning.

The truth isn’t that a new pregnancy will help you forget.

The truth is that, while thoughts of a new pregnancy soon may provide hope, a lost infant deserves to be mourned just as you would have with anyone you loved. Grieving takes a lot of energy and can be both emotionally and physically draining. This could have an impact upon your health during another pregnancy. While the decision to try again is a very individualized one, being pregnant while still actively grieving is very difficult.

The truth isn’t that pills or alcohol will dull the pain.

The truth is that they will merely postpone the reality you must eventually face in order to begin healing. However, if your doctor feels that medication is necessary to help maintain your health, use it intelligently and according to his/her instructions.

The truth isn’t that once this is over, your life will be the same.

The truth is that your upside-down world will slowly settle down, hopefully leaving you a more sensitive, compassionate person, better prepared to handle the hard times that everyone must deal with sooner or later. When you consider that you have just experienced one of the worst things that can happen to a family, as you heal you will become aware of how strong you are. (more…)