Well, the conference was canceled (after all that anticipation) due to the frigid arctic temps here in the MW. But I went ahead and told my IL's anyways. I figured it wouldn't hurt. Then they'd know and that way I could tell everyone else.

Well, my FIL (who's been researching and so forth without ever mentioning it to me) said basically nothing. If he said anything at all, I don't remember. But I'm pretty sure that he said nothing. Maybe just "oh."

And my MIL says "Well, you really shouldn't focus on your doula stuff or your nursing stuff. Other babies aren't near as important as your own." And that's all she said.

Yes, I do want to become a doula. I plan to take a course late this year so that I can begin doing volunteer doing for the program at the hospital that I delivered Sammy at. I want to volunteer one day a month until the boys are older and I'll be able to do more. But this isn't set in stone. I haven't paid for this course or even signed up for it. I'm only planning on it. IDK. Her comments are always unnecessary and very much always condescending, critical and usually hurtful as well. And I'm not doing any nursing. So, I'm not really sure where that came from. She really hates everything about me, I think. She blames me for anything and everything that she can. It's so odd to me. Everyone always says that I'm a good mom, but she never has anything nice to say to me ever. She only tells me how I'm doing everything all wrong. I get so friggin' tired of it.

I wish FIL had said more though. Or perhaps even given me a hug. Or SOMETHING.

But neither of their reactions are unexpected in the least. In fact, it went almost exactly as I thought it would. I guess I just had high hopes for more.

Anyways, I'll be rescheduling next Tuesday for some later date to hopefully get him enrolled in his speech therapy and the preschool. *sigh*

((hugs)) We got a pretty unsupportive reaction from the inlaws, too. Mine (who had never even heard of autism) basically said its a bunch of nonsense and that he will "grow out of it". They all but said that we were just looking for an excuse for bad behavior caused by us. Sweet, huh? I think part of it is a generation gap; when we were children autism wasn't known about as it is today, and is hard to explain exactly what autism is to someone who has never even read up on it; Sheesh, so many medical professionals don't even know much about about autism, its no wonder the average person is in the dark too. I don't know, we just told them that until they are ready to learn about autism and try to support their grandchild, the subject is closed for discussion.

As for as needing to give up doula-ing, that's just silly. Yes, everyone in the family will have to make adjustments and sacrifice a little bit, but you shouldn't have to backburner your dreams if you are creating a healthy balance between work and family.

My MIL told us theres nothing wrong with DD her uncle talked late so she could too. Then after she was dx with PDD/NOS she became the Autism Expert who doesnt know diddly squat about it!!!!! Not to mention that Srs X-SIL supposly is a special needs teacher and knows so much about autism but its funny nothing she tells MIL checks out and is a bunch of pucky!! I get IRATE about this subject because I may not be an expert but I know whats best for my child and I dont need anyone telling me what I am doing is wrong and that the drs are full of crap...
When we mentioned taking Jr to the Neuro to be evaluated. Everyone thought we were crazy. Its funny 6 months later everyone agreed with us!

I want to say that I have given up many dreams to be here with my children. When they both start school next fall I am planning to try to start school myself to be a OT or a Special needs teacher.

I guess this is a part of it. Just having people react badly, or not enough, or ignorantly. It is very hard, I know. And as far as the not being a doula....thats just ridiculous. I am still going for my medical transcription degree. Yes, it is taking me longer than planned because Alexanders therapies take up more time, but it is something I am doing not only for me but for my family. Not to be mean, but that statement is just moronic. You still have to live your life as well.

I am sorry your IL's are not supportive. I think you should go for it and become a doula. I think its important to do something you love because if all you focus is on your childs autism you will go batty.

Everyone kept saying Destiny was just hyper and that she needed to go out in a field and just run it off!! I told them sure go ahead and we will see who falls over first guarantee it wouldnt be her!!!!!!!!!!!

My MIL and FIL both didnt want to believe anything! MIL said that she had never seen Destiny have her tantrums or anything like that, That she was always good at her house and she never had a problem with her!! BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! My MIL doesnt like me either I feel like Debra off of Everyone Loves Raymond and thats the truth!!! My FIL is a preacher and he said all we can do is pray! which duhh Ive done since my children have been born but sometimes praying isnt all that needs to be done! we need to get up off our cabooses and do other things too!!!! IF I would of sit there and done nothing like they said to do she wouldnt be talking to day and she wouldnt even be this far in life!!!!!!!!!! SO this is what I say!!!!!!!!!! your the mom you know best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do what you feel is the best for you and your children!!

God Bless
and XOXO
Pooh

I'm sorry about their reactions It perplexes me why your MIL would try to discourage you from pursuing your doula or nursing work... why should you? Your life does not stop when your child gets an ASD diagnosis! If anything, doing something you like, for you, is more important than ever! ((((hugs))))