Well tomorrow is the day. I will update when I can.

Also what do you all do as far as Time Outs for bad behavior? Or do you do something else? Reagan gets time outs & she acts like it is the most horrible thing when I say no and put her in time out. When I tell Nathan "No, bad" or whatever in a VERY stern way he just laughs. Of course he won't stay in the time out chair so I hold him there and he just looks around the room and continues smiling. I stay no very sternly almost yelling and he just thinks it is funny.

Good luck hun! Time outs are a joke for Jay. What I do is sit on the couch and put Jay in front of me. I take my legs and cross them over his. Then I cross his arms and firmly hold them against his chest. Not to firmly just enough that he can not hit or scratch me. He gets very mad when I do this but I know its working. He will ask for a hug then. I was doing 1 2 3 magic but I have moved onto one warning. If he is doing something he is not supposed to and I catch him I tell him if he does it again he is going in timeout. Sometimes thats enough to stop him.

Well, first of all, good luck tomorrow!!! I'll pray for you!

Secondly, about time outs. With Freddy it's been hit or miss. When he's lashing out and throwing/hitting/etc. I grab him and pin his arms down in a tight hug against my body. Then I talk to him in a soothing way to help him calm down and reorganize himself.
But real time outs we haven't done in awhile. Freddy is incredibly well-behaved. He knows the boundaries and rules of the house and it's almost like it never occurs to him to disobey.

What we do end up doing is not fun, but it seems effective. We take priviledges away. Freddy loves to press the button for our automatic garage door. But I was having such a problem with him throwing tantrums when we came home from going ANYWHERE. I was going crazy. So one day, I shut the garage door and refused to let him. He tried for hours to go outside to reopen and reshut it. He cried and cried and cried. But I told him absolutely not. He had a bad attitude when we came home and that was it. I told him the rule: If you have a bad attitude, then you do NOT shut the garage door. If you have a good attitude, then you DO shut the garage door. He has never ever forgotten. He has not had a tantrum since.

It may be that you have to find an alternative to time outs. Something that is effective. I think the reason some people spank is because for their children, it's an effective punishment (it was with me!!) But I tried spanking Freddy and it doesn't do anything. Just keep trying. Obviously, I don't recommend spanking. What I'm saying is, think outside the box for him. And then, the same goes for positive reinforcement. When he does really well or listens really well, then major praise is in order and possibly a treat. IDK if this is helpful. It does work with Freddy, but of course, every kid reacts differently.

Just try to be patient and keep trying different methods and keep asking questions!!

Time outs are very effective for Zack because when he's acting out, he normally needs time alone, away from stimuli, to cool down. I put him in his bedroom with the blinds open so that he can calm himself down. Sometimes he rips his room apart first (ugh, not fun!), but he isn't allowed to come out until he is calm & ready to be a nice boy. Time out "chairs" or "spots" don't work for him though. He really needs to be completely removed from the situation all together and left alone.

Good luck with dx day. Keep us posted!

How was today?

I TOTALLY messed up the appointment time!!! We almost didn't get seen at all. But in the end the doc squeezed Nathan in for about 20 mins. We have another appointment set up in March and we are going to keep that appointment now so that we can get a more thorough eval and ask some additional questions.

He got PDD-NOS with a script for 10 hours of therapy per week.

It is kinda what my DH and I expected. I'm so glad that we can now get the paper work started for the therapy. Wheww!!!! Yay more therapy! I'm also glad that we kept the 2nd appointment since I royally screwed this one up by being so late (long story, don't really want to get into the details).

Another question:

I am supposed to start going to a playgroup. I don't know the mom's at all (except for one mom who I plan on telling). Do I tell the group about Nate? I'd rather not say anything unless it got brought up somehow. I mean many of the autistic-like stuff he does can be looked at as regular 2 year old behavior. How do you handle stuff like this?

Oh my. The delicate subject of who to tell is difficult. Most of the time, I've just expressed that Freddy is "different". This was before, when I only had suspicions. And then, depending on the situation, I describe how he might react.
For instance, I might say that he might be upset b/c we're doing something outside his routine and that freaks him out. Or maybe he doesn't play too much with other kids, so he's not always aware of how to act appropriately.
I think saying "Autism" carries too much weight behind it and to tell people, especially strangers, is setting the kids up to be stereo-typed. So I just remain vague about why he is the way he is and just give the necessary details.

I'm glad they let you in today after you were late. And now you have something solid to go off of and can start getting him therapy!
I hope the next appt. goes much better!!

If you don't feel comfortable mentioning his dx, then don't. However, I personally, prefer to tell people openly. I feel like if I'm not open about it, then it makes it seem as if it's something to be ashamed of, and it's not. I think it also opens the door to communication about the disorder, and I enjoy helping to educate others about it. No one has ever reacted poorly over it. If anything, people tend to be more understanding with him because they know he isn't just being a huge brat, that there's an underlying cause for his anxiety & meltdowns. I've only ever had positive & supportive responses from people.

This is how I feel, exactly. I also feel that telling everyone we interact with that he has autism helps break the stereotypes and dispel the myths and misconceptions about the disorder. I usually work it into our introduction very frankly, as if it is just a little tidbit about him... for example, if we were going to a new play group, I might say something like "Hi. I'm Crissy, this is my son Angus. Angus is 5 and has autism. He loves Play-doh, Lego and Wow Wow Wubzy." I think that my being open and light about it puts people at ease and lets them feel comfortable asking me about it - since people often do, which I much prefer to them just wondering.



I have never had anyone react negatively, but I have had people be surprised, because they still thought autism was just like "Rain Man" or "Mercury Rising".

I agree 100%

Same here. I think it helps people to be more sensitive to his unusual behaviors, and also gives them the chance to see autism outside of the Hollywood stereotype. Like, I don't bolding announce it to the world, but if I notice he's getting strange looks over something he is doing or saying I'll just remark (in a good-natured way) "Ah, the joys of autism."


Rain Man was on TV last night and I decided to watch it because I had never seen the whole movie. While I was cracking up at the dialogues between the two brothers (it reminds me so much of the way dh and ds tend to interact), I HATED the ending! What a sour note, with Raymond being so emotionally disconnected that he didn't know or care either way where he would be living