Because I really can't post this in my DDC
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May 15th, 2008, 11:28 AM
Join Date: Feb 2005
Well, I had a 15 year old deliver naturally in a rural arkansas hospital. The nurse came in maybe once or twice. Told the mama she was not in labor. MIND you they induced with cytotec! Ahhhhh! She labored all night, had like a birth center labor, minus the cytotec and was delivered quickly of a little girl. NO EPIDURAL! Just me and her SIL for the labor until the very end. Nurse even told her that when I killed her baby it would be my fault. Ya know, cause she was moving and a grooving in her labor.
Dangerous stuff! But I thought she wasn't in labor. LOL!
Anywho, she had a very overbearing mama. One of the worst I have ever met. I did all of her classes at her MIL's house. And then at the birth her mother went home for some sleep and then wanted us to call her for the birth. UH NO! I had taken this mama free of charge and drove two hours each way, I knew she wanted a good birth, and I wanted to help her.
When she started pushing on her own in the room with just me I asked her do you want to call your mom? She yelled NO!
That is how I dealt with her.
Beautiful birth from a very able 15 year old.
I hear she is 19 and expecting her second baby now.
I would have this mother call and talk to a doula or even a midwife. Get their take on childbirth in younger women. The truth is this, she can and will give birth okay. My 15 year old was a stick! She grew the perfect baby. Was told she wouldn't be able to nurse! Her boobs were too small....exact words. LOL! Gotta love AR. But she did for a little bit.
Young women need to be treated with respect and not like children. She needs to be the authority of her birth, whatever that is. She is in a position of great responsibility. She should be able to hear how great her body is. It WILL decide how she parents that child to be. If she has it all done for her and she is terrified she will have a harder time with the rearing of that child. She needs to know she is strong.
That is what I would tell her mother. That she must push away and allow her to grow early. That she should hear positive things! She needs to know she works, that she isn't broken. That she doesn't need to be saved. That her baby doesn't need to be saved from her body. Does that make sense?
Younger women who are first time mamas need 40-41 weeks if they can get it. The baby needs it. Regardless of the outcome, section or not. A forced birth at 36 weeks is going to make for a colicky baby that she finds even more difficult to parent. She will not find the joy of parenting this way. And if something happens from the induction and her baby is in the NICU how will they feel? Will the mother feel she almost killed her baby? That the doctors saved it? Gosh her heart!
Even with a strange pelvis, we DON'T know what will happen until we allow a TRIAL of labor! Every baby deserves that. And what if when she is older she does a complete turn around and wants natural births and her forced birth/section for failed induction at 36 weeks haunts her?
This is a GREAT parenting moment for this mama of the pregnant teen. She needs to uplift her. She needs to find out the truth!
"I am a midwife. It is not just what I do, it is what I am, and I grow in it."
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