I'm scared, I'm new here, I'm a mess, & I don't know if I can handle this.
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May 20th, 2008, 07:34 AM
Join Date: Apr 2007
WARNING: well I don't know if I should warn or not cause nothing is happening yet, but read with caution to be safe.
I'm an emotional wreck. Got a BFP 5/13, line continued to get darker through 5/17, so I posted a pic and moved to January DDC board. Last period was 4/15 so that makes me about 5 weeks. Noticed temp plummeted 5/19, so I took a test and got only a very faint line, fainter than two days prior. So I rushed into the doc, who is starting me on betas; had first draw for that and progesterone yesterday, and I go back tomorrow for 2nd draw. I've had multiple losses, and the worst thing in the world for me is to be alone, but I feel so so terrible physically I can't do anything but be here. I'm still very fragile with my losses cause I'm in the middle of grieving one upcoming angelversary in June, and here I sit, a year later, going through betas just like with the last one. I cry constantly, I can't sleep, terrible headache and terrible chest pains from stress, and my nerves are shot.
Nothing is happening physically. No - er - "signs" of impending "anything". I'm such a wreck, and I hate not knowing. I hope this all doesn't mean anything and that everything is okay, but I can't help being scared. I know I am pregnant, the only question is how is the baby, and what are my chances. Is there any hope at all. I'm done venting - thank you for listening. I know only time will tell but for the time being I have fallen apart at the prospect of this not working out the way we hoped.
Faint + 5/14/2008, BFP 5/13/2008, darker line on 5/17/2008, stalk my chart!
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