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  #19  
May 21st, 2008, 07:10 AM
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follesurtoi follesurtoi is offline
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I'm not going.

There is no way, after seeing the kinda flow I'm seeing, that I am pg anymore.

I'm not going to put myself through that. I wasn't seeing that before I went to bed last night, so I was like, I'm going in. But now, now it's very very unmistakenly a m/c, cause with what I've lost no way a baby can still be in there.... I refuse to go to the pregnancy loss board cause I am still mourning Gracie and that would be such a trigger, so I'm just going to work, I haven't been in like two days, and I'm waiting for the doctor to call me back.

I wish I'd never gotten my hopes up. I don't see how you girls do it, I really don't. It's so heartbreaking, yet you all are so strong, and I'm so weak. I've had multiple losses, and no matter how early, each one was conceived with hope and a "maybe this is it, please let it be" And here I am, pregnant for what seemed like days, then it's ripped from me. I'll stop rambling, I need to go anyway. It's all just so cruel. We want babies more than ever, but Mother NAture laughs in our faces, and teases us. Alright I will really stop now. I'm just hurt and angry and very upset. I'm sorry.

I wish you all have a H&H nine months girls, and I will definitely keep you all in my T&P.
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Faint + 5/14/2008, BFP 5/13/2008, darker line on 5/17/2008, stalk my chart!http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/19c6f2

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