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May 28th, 2008, 03:38 PM
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TeresaMarie TeresaMarie is offline
Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Carolina- Oregon native
Posts: 505
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I do regret my decisions.
I joined the Army when I was 20 and my son was almost two. I wanted to created a better, more stable life for him (and myself). When I joined single parents were required to relinguish physical gaurdianship of their child to another adult who could care for their child while at Basic and AIT. I was told there would not be a problem reversing this.

When I returned my father and stepmother had started having my son call them mom and dad. I was distraught and heart broken. I was discharged from the Army (uncharacterized discharge) and had no job, place to live, etc. My father is wealthy and I had no idea I could have found a free attorney.

My parents kept my son who is now 18. They say they were fearful I would contact his natural father (who is a drug addict and who I would NEVER consent to visitations with) so gradually stopped letting me take Steven anywhere. The heartache was horrible and as Steven got older we started drifting apart. Now my son is living the same childhood of hurt and confusion that I lived and I am powerless to stop it.

If I had only had someone who believed in me as a parent to encourage me. I would have kept Steven and been a good mother to him.

My father was controlling and even as an adult I feared him getting upset with me. I was made to feel like a complete failure.

So when I found out I was pregnant 3 years later there was no option but adoption. How could I, a complete failure, raise one child, let alone two?

The adoption was closed and I regret that. It is only by chance that I heard the last name of the adopting couple and the names of the twins. I'm lucky in that regaurd and in that I was able to hold and cuddle them both before leaving the hospital.

Yet 15 years later I still have bouts of grief.

I wouldn't suggest adoption to anyone who is pregnant. Instead I would provide resources for her and contact names and numbers of people who could encourage and help her through pregnancy, birth and raising a child alone.

I say this, if God had not wanted this young woman to be pregnant and give birth, it would not have happened. There must be a reason God has granted her this child. But I do not believe God wishes mother's to ever be separated from their children.
__________________
Teresa,
Mom to Kailey Danielle born into our hearts February 20, 2001 and wife to Mark, sealed with love on September 24, 2000.
Fur-mom to Lucy, Blue, and Shelby
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