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March 2nd, 2005, 04:57 PM
Join Date: Mar 2005
Here I am still feeling weird by telling people that we are having a baby in September.
Long story.. I have a 6 yo (soon to be 7) and always thought that would be it. We're happy with the one we got. Trust me, he's a dream!
We have worked hard the past 4 years planning and opening a party/gourmet popcorn retail store of about 2000 square feet. This is our retirement or pass on to our son.
Things have been tough since we opened 10/04. My husband is in a dead end job as it is and we really took a big risk with this store, but what business isn't a risk??
Then, in Jan I take a test and find out I was pregnant. As all along I asked my husband, "What if I get pregnant?" His comment was always "Worse things could happen" So, when I broke the news to him, it wasn't what I thought. He looked at the test and said "You have GOT to be kidding me!" Not in a "Yeah"...more like a "Well CRAP!"
As I sit there and he storms off to the back room, my son says "Is he happy?" "Not yet honey, give him time"
As I get the "I don't want to go bankrup because we can't afford a baby" speech, I can't help but think I didn't get pregnant by myself.
So, I can totally understand the almost disappointment in others dh when it's a shock. But he has come around and is happy to know a little one will be around the house again. And he's happy our son will have a sibiling, which he never had. I have a brother, but we don't talk but one time a year...IF that!
I was on Lexapro for depression and anxiety which I immediately stopped taking and have now been praying more than ever for God to give me the strength I need to get through this roller coaster of a business and hormones. I still see a therapist 2 times a month.
I have a GREAT employee who I totally trust and get along with great.
Sickness has gone away, but, I'm trying to "hide" the pregnancy as long as I can so clients don't find out. I do MANY weddings and the last thing I need is a bride to think I can't handle her wedding with a belly.
I just can't help but think how in the world am I going to do this??!?! Sometimes I feel calm and know it'll be ok...others I almost freak out and wonder what have I gotten myself into?
And why after 4 years of NO birth contro....why now?!!? What is God's plan for NOW!?? As if I didn't have enough on my plate!!!
Thanks for listening...and honestly (as if I haven't been this honest already)..it hasn't been all giggles and grins with this pregnancy. I feel almost as if I'm "ok" with it other than "thrilled". Who says pregnancy and having a baby has to be all "yippees" and "glowing".
Just being honest.
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