So frustated with DSD's bio mom
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September 4th, 2008, 06:20 AM
Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
My DH's son (my DSS) lives about an hour away & we've thankfully haven't had to deal w/ that & I've offered that "if" she needed me to transport the child on urgent matters, I'd do so, but she hates me & wants me to do nothing for her son, what ever...one less thing to worry about.
Now as far as you bringing the child due to the mother wanting to get rest, that's not right. I'd be setting down serious ground rules that you love helping when you can but it has to be due to urgent matters, not just because. You have your own situation & if she lives closer (and she doesn't) then it would be a little different but since the distance & cost is an issue (fuel is insane) then you can't just do this all the time. Once in a blue moon or once a week if that. Personally, I'd be saying 1 time month or urgent cases. Sure, a child saying "please" is tempting but mom decided to move & that was her choice, now she has to deal w/ the consequences of that & part of that is she wont have people to help out as easily as she had before due to the distance in geographical matters.
I go through this w/ my DH's ex, she always asks my DH to get their son at the last minute & DH "used" to jump at her request & now I say "hey...we live a long ways away, what about her mother & father? what about her sister or brother in law? what about her LIVE IN boyfriend?" Now my DH has come to "some" of his senses & has been saying no to the obvious. It happened just the other day on Tuesday. He was suppose to have his son (as he always does on Mondays & Tuesdays for a few hours). My DH arrived at his mother's house (my MIL) & waited for his ex to drop off his son. After two hours or trying to reach her, she finally called & told my DH that SHE was running late getting ready to go out & that their son had a play date etc. She knew about this all day long & waited for the last minute to notify my DH, as a result, wasting time on our end. My DH was stuck in horrible traffic & didn't get to see his son (she also did this on Monday too). But once again, my DH refuses to put his foot down & say "this is MY time w/ my son & it's in our court order"...so is every other weekend but that's been out the window for well over a year now.
Seriously, the lack of respect that ex's have for one another on this board is mind boggling & I just don't understand it. Sometimes I think it's jealousy, selfishness, and most of the time lack of good communication. Other times I feel that it's just the way people are raised & they don't see how even though this was okay on their end, to others, it's hurtful & abusive in the sense of being taken advantage of. Either way, just ridiculous!
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