So frustated with DSD's bio mom
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October 2nd, 2008, 06:22 AM
Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
I just have to add that when a parent lives or moves far away, some of the "rules" our out the door. You can't still be expected to be there at the drop of a hat, you can't be the one that is an ER contact b/c you can't get there in an ER when you live over an hour away, just the way it is. We are in the same situation.
On another note, I have my ex who doesn't live an hour away, but I he isn't an ER contact b/c he doesn't answer his phone (says there is no reception at his job, sometimes I believe that, sometimes I don't), so I can't list him as an ER contact if he wont even answer the stupid phone to begin with.
Again, it's hard cause the kids are stuck in the middle. They want things to REMAIN the same. My DSS wanted things to stay the same (before my DH & I moved to our house, which for the record, I offered to buy a house w/ in his son's area, but the cost for houses there are higher, less house for your $), we ended up moving farther away, DH's choice, no complaints from me. Any ways, my DSS expected his dad to be w/ him every day like he USED to be. He couldn't, just couldn't. It was hard. It was hard for everyone to adjust, DSS had (still has resentment), my DH has guilt (still), the ex (bio-mom) lays it on thick at times & plays the card of SINGLE PARENT (even though her parents, sister live down the street & her boyfriend lives w/ her. You get my drift. It's hard all around. I was angry at my DH cause he was spending time away from me & our babies & he was trying to spread himself all around & ending up falling asleep on the couch due to exhaustion from all of the above. He's one person & can't do it all. We've accommodated the situation in that he spends time w/ his DS on Mondays & Tuesday nights until 7pm. That's that. The rest of the week is w/ us. We'd have DSS more but he doesn't know how to behave so he doesn't come here to spend the night or day(s) & when he does it's like a horror show so it's far few in between when it does.
Again, try to take the child out of the situation & put the reality into perspective & make things realistic. Would you be doing all this driving around for yourself or anyone else & what would happen if your car broke down etc., etc.? Just throwing some kinks in, ya never know.
HIH, keep us posted. What's is going on since you've posted????
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