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October 12th, 2008, 06:18 AM
Blondzilla Blondzilla is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
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I completely agree with you wanting to have either a consistent visitation or taking it slow. As far as his parents go, they're not thinking in terms of how HOLLYANN feels or they'd see how hard it will be on her. I can't imagine putting a small child in a car for several hours with a virtual stranger to take her to more virtual strangers! If they are bound and determined to maintain a relationship with her, they can't expect delivery service to come with it! They've got to either come and get her, come and visit her or have you bring her. PERIOD! She barely knows her father anymore so she can't be expected to be comfortable going with him. And like you, I forsee many weekend plans crashing down at the last minute because he decides he wants to do something else and doesn't care about her feelings. Yes, it would be terrific if he would agree to a regular visitation schedule so the two of them can have a relationship. However, it isn't fair to her to be put on this roller coaster of emotions that she can't ever get off. Once she is old enough to understand this a little better, she may decide she's willing to take that chance. Right now she's at the age where every little letdown is catastrophic to her--in her mind-- and means there is something wrong with her not her father...again in her mind. It isn't fair for him to put either of you through that--you having to make a decision that is extremely difficult and her having to wonder why daddy doesn't want me. He's being selfish and so are his parents. They need to stop thinking of themselves for a moment and think about her and what this is doing to her. They're thinking "But he's her father!" and not "She hasn't seen him enough to develop a relationship that is more than a distant relative that you only see on holidays." which is what they need to understand.
Good luck! Let us know what you decide and how it works out!
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