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  #7  
October 23rd, 2008, 07:50 PM
azura24 azura24 is offline
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 709
well, mia is doing much better. She has settled down and she is "OK" with her grandmothers passing. Now, I am just trying to cope. I really dont know how to feel. I was close to her grandmother for a lot of my life. She was my babysitter for GOD's sake then my mother in law (we werent married but we were together for 6 years) then my daughters grandmother! We got along so well. Now I am not even allowed to go to the funeral because James is taking his who*e. I am really so hurt. I told DF and he said I should go. He said I have been there way longer and as long as I dont acknowledge "him" maybe he wont start anything. Now its just my personal attempt. Would I be able to be strong enough to see past my anger, hurt, resentment, and if he does confront me with ANYTHING will I be able to walk away? I dont want to disrespect his mom at all or the family but my daughter is the most important thing to me and if he does so much as to look at her funny I will flip out. I dont know. I really need to pray on this, as I have been doing. It is all so horrible. I have sooo many emotions right now. Tomorrow is the anniversary of 2 very traumatic events. 1 from 4 years ago and the other from 1 year ago, me and df's anniversary (yay), lindas passing, we bought a house and are moving tuesday, my cousin(my best friend) and I are going through a lot of mixed up emotions between each other and I just am BLAH! I feel so freakin overwhelmed! I dont know...I guess I am kinda rambling. I just really dont know what to feel, say or think!

Thanx for listening ladies
~Amber
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