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January 29th, 2006, 05:51 AM
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rachel_claire rachel_claire is offline
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OK, I've been awake for the past 27 1/2 hours, I think I had a panic attack last night, but I really need to vent....
hubby brought fried shrimp home last night and it was great, no problems, I was happy and full and content. then he just left the plates all over the living room floor!!!! next to the couch so they were out of the way while he played with our 3 month old beagle puppy, but they started to smell. Ever since I got pregnant, I've had the smell sense of a scent-hound and it was irritating me. I was already starting to boil because he was suppost to be watching a movie with me while we ate and instead he was playing with the stupid dog and making him bark and howl after I told him I had a headache coming on . So I flipped out about the fishy smelling plates and told him to move them. He thought it would be funny to give me a hard time about them, so he kept saying "which plates? what do you mean? oh, THOSE plates? what do you want me to do with them?" and I tried to control my anger. I finally got him to "take care" of them, which in his mind was moving them from the floor to the counter in the kitchen, where they still stunk. Normally it wouldn't bother me, but like I said, I was already heated. So I threw the plates in the trash, including the one with 7 or 8 yummy shrimp left that I was gonna save for today and started cleaning things and shutting everything down for the night.
He then had the nerve to say "You didn't just throw those shrimp away, did you?" I ignored him...."I know you can here me and it's about to get worse in a few seconds"....continued to ignore him pretty much out of spite because he said it was going to get worse and I just didn't really care at that point so I walked away to bed. He then came in in a huff and grabbed his pillow and went to sleep on the couch. That was it, I was at the end of my rope so I started crying like every pregnant woman does when she's not sleeping, eating, or talking about her unborn baby and stormed out there freaking out and he just ignored me.....so I said "How can you get pissed off at me when I'm already pissed at you?! You never try to make things better, you only ignore me and try to make it worse!!!!!!! FINE!!!! lets see how bad we can make it" and I THREW the dining room chair across the kitchen which broke into a few pieces....I had no idea I had that kind of strength! Then I pushed this little glass chess set off the hutch with all the force I had in me and it shattered ALL over the dining room and kitchen and some pieces in the living room!!!! You can only imagine how hard I had to push it off the table, and stormed into the bathroom to sob and shower.
( By the way, the sound of shattering glass can be very soothing.... )
Of course I had to clean it up at 1:00 am this morning because he just went to sleep and pretended like it didn't even happen . I made a point to make as much noise and banging as I could and he just pretended to sleep!!!! There's no way anyone could've stayed asleep through the cleaning tantrem I went through. It was so infuriating..
Anyway, I went to bed and sobbed some more and here I am this morning, I've been awake for 27 1/2 hours because I can't sleep and my pregnancy symptoms are raging. Stuffy nose, swollen limbs, backache, Not to mention I felt like I had a panic attack last night. My heartrate wasn't too fast, but it was hard, I could feel my heart beating hard for like 3 hours. I got hot flashes and basically thought I killed my baby, which made it worse...hence the complete lack of sleep. I haven't slept all night and yesterday I was up at 4 am with a stuffy nose and heartburn. I'm a mess, I feel like I got run over by a bus. My lungs hurt from sobbing, my eyes burn from crying, my whole body is swore from lack of sleep and immense levels of stress. and stupid DH is STILL sleeping on the couch right now!!!! Would it be a bad thing to go out there and punch him in the face???

Anyway...thanks for listening....I just needed to get that out, I feel like crap right now and I know it was over something stupid that was blown out of proportion and our marriage is not coming to an end, I'm just over-tired and stresses out....~sigh~
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