How do I tell my mom?
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January 29th, 2006, 09:55 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
When I had my DS, now 8, it was also unplanned and telling my parents was my biggest worry. I was supposed to head back to school in one month, and my 'fiance' had dumped me literally two days before and wanted nothing to do with me (and it would later turn out, his son, either). Lucky for you, it sounds like your relationship with the father is much better.
My mom had always been a big support for me, so she was the first person I told. I picked up the phone and called her immediately (she lived 4 hours away at the time). She was the first to suggest adoption...but like you I couldn't do adoption, and none of us agree with abortion (personally, it's an individual decision IMHO). She was disappointed that I was keeping the baby at first, but very quickly grew to be excited and anxious for the arrival of her grandchild.
My dad was another story. He and I have had a rocky relationship over the years because we are so similar in many ways...and both have hot tempers. We'd grown a lot closer, but it was still nerve-wracking telling him. He came down and had lunch with me (planned before I took the test), and I was glad for the public discussion...it eased my fear of him blowing his top. He took it calmly and discussed the matter with me. He was disappointed in me for allowing it to happen...but now he is still a central figure in my son's life, even though we no longer live with them.
Both my parents were disappointed, but knowing a grandchild was onthe way soon took absolute precedence. They supported me so far as to take me in after DS was born when I finally realized that the father would be no help. They helped me raise him for 3 years until I met and married my DH.
Basically, you know your relationship with your mom better than anyone here. If you two have lunches or talks, get together for one of those. If you aren't as close, take her out anyway...it is a special, if nerve-wracking, occasion when you're telling someone they're going to be a grandparent. Tell her you haev some surprising, but ultimately wonderful news, and let her know that she'll have a grandchild to spoil soon. She'll have tons of questions about what's going on with your relationship with teh father, how it happened, etc...be prepared to answer. Take a sonogram pic if you have one...include her.
Most of all remember, she'll need as much time to adjust as you did. It's a shock when you aren't planning on being a GP for a few more years
Just remember, despite your fear in telling her, you are genuinely happy about this life...and she will be too
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