Another question about seperation anxiety
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November 7th, 2008, 07:54 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Buffalo, New York
I have had this problem recently with Constantine. He never used to care about going to day care (pretty much the only time he was away from me) but then when we were home on my maternity leave he got really used to having me with him 24-7 and now he screams when I have to leave him. It is slowly getting better but I think it just takes time for them to get used to being away from mommy - especially if it doesn't happen that often and it's an unusual thing for them. One thing that helps is if I let him have a comfort item to ease the transition. For example, he loves his blankie but is only allowed to have it for nap time and night time. BUT if he is having a particularly hard time when I drop him off at day care I will let him have his blankie at that time. It doesn't stop the tears entirely but it is a comfort item that gives him some security. Then once I leave and he gets distracted playing or with an activity the teachers just put the blankie away until nap time. Another thing I do is to give him a big hug "big enough to last the whole day". I get down on the floor and give him a big squeeze and tell him "here is our hug big enough to last the whole day"! Again, doesn't stop the tears entirely but it is our routine and it seems to help him somewhat.
Don't let your MIL tell you that you can't comfort your child or try to ease the transition. That makes me crazy!!! Granted, with Constantine the quicker the drop off the less likely that we'll have a melt down BUT if there is a melt down I stay for a few minutes to comfort him. I don't believe it helps to just abandon them in a hurry when they are terribly upset.
It is a hard thing but I think its normal and they will grow out of it. It's just hard when you need some alone time and it makes me feel so guilty!
Fomerly known as 1SonSoFar, now awaiting Baby #3!!!
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