I think I'm just acting like a big sucky baby!!
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February 9th, 2006, 03:01 PM
Join Date: Dec 2005
I've been depressed all day! And for what?? My b/f just left for Montreal to visit his mom. I won't see him for at least 4 days. I don't think it's the fact that he's going to be gone for that long...I think it's mainly the fact that he's going to see her (oh yeah, by the way, she's the devil!
). I mean, she's apparently coming down here to visit next week, so why does he have to leave to see her now? Yeah yeah yeah, ok so the rest of his family is there too, but...urgh! I know I'm not being reasonable, but it's just how I feel. Also, another thing is, is that I know Mitch isn't really super thrilled the baby's a girl...He really wanted a boy...And that's ok, I know he's scared about having a girl...But when he called to tell his mom the news about the girl, she said she would pray that the u/s techs were wrong because she wants a grandSON not grandDAUGHTER. I don't care about what she thinks, considering I don't really care about her...But I care about HIM and he's soooooooooooo easily manipulated/swayed by others. And I'm scared if he surrounds himself too much around her (he's there for the week, then she's coming down for about 4 days after that...so that's a lot of Mom) he'll start to develop a really negative attitude about it too. She's succeeded in doing that to him before when he first told her about the pregnancy... A few hours with her and he calls me all in tears wanting an abortion all of a sudden. So going by past experience with the two of them, I'm scared.
Also, I'm starting to feel like I'm not actually going to be getting the help I'll really need once the baby comes. Mitch works two day 7am-7pm then 2days 7pm to 7am then gets 4 days off. So he works his 12 hours, comes home, stays up for a few hours, then sleeps until he has to get up to get ready for the next 12 hour shift. He's super adament about NEEDING his sleep and it must be undisturbed because if he gets woken up, he can't get back to sleep. Then teh 24 hours he gets between the 7am-7pm and 7pm-7am shifts are even more screwed up! He gets home at say 8pm, stays up till about 10pm sleeps, gets up at about 2am, stays up till about 7am then sleeps till about 5pm, gets ready for work then leaves for his 7pm shift. It's confusing I know...But if you stop and really figure it out, once the baby's here, when on earth does he expect to help out? Only when he's awake? He's up for only a few hours then has to leave for a 12 hour shift...the rest of the time he's sleeping and can't be disturbed! I'm just getting a little overwhelmed by how little he'll be helping on during the 5 days he works (or should I say 4 but one day is a weird in between day)...Sure the 4 days off will be good, but then I have to deal with 5 pretty much alone! And his excuse for it is "we'll someone has to make money! I'll have a job still when the baby comes, but you won't."
UH!!! does he not realize that being a mom IS a job...in fact it's a 24hour 7days a week job! I'll be breast feeding so no matter what, I'm constantly going to have to be there (except for the rare occasion when I'll pump so I can get a break!)...I mean! I'm freaking out here! And to top it, he's spending the next week to two weeks with his negative mother and god knows what kind of nonsense she'll feed him!!!!!
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